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# Bonnie Harris | Connective Parenting

For parents looking to form a healthy parent-child relationship. Bonnie Harris is a parenting and child behavior specialist

## Sitemaps

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## Posts

- [Bonnie Harris | Connective Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/parenting-blog/) - Bonnie Harris is a parenting and child behavior specialist. She has designed and taught parenting workshops and counseled parents for more than thirty years
- [June '18 Q&A - Unrealistic Expectations and Huge Feelings](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/refusing-the-toilet-unrealistic-expectations-and-huge-feelings/) - Unrealistic Expectations Can Get Us Off Track Q. I need help with my 6 yr. old daughter. It's time to go to bed. We all know the procedure. We are calm, we had our quality time, but my daughter decides that she doesn't want to go to bed. I talk calmly, trying to understand her,
- [Communicating With Your Child: Obstacles and Opportunities for Connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/communicating-with-your-child-obstacles-and-opportunities-for-connection/) - At the core of every relationship lies communication. Yet, even with best intentions, communication between parents and children can easily become disconnected.
- [A View from the Other Side: Creating relationships that last a lifetime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-view-from-the-other-side-creating-relationships-that-last-a-lifetime/) - The responsibility of parenting is the process of understanding yourself and your reactions.
- [What Dads Teach Boys About Women](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/what-dads-teach-boys-about-women/) - The single most powerful thing a father can do to teach his son accountability is to practice it himself — not dramatically, just honestly.
- [Setting Healthy Summer Screen Boundaries](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/setting-healthy-summer-screen-boundaries/) - Summer is the perfect time to build real media literacy — not just rules, but understanding. Try these strategies to set boundaries that everyone can agree on.
- [A Beautiful Sadness: The Grief of Watching Your Child Grow Away](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-beautiful-sadness-the-grief-of-watching-your-child-grow-away/) - The goal of parenting is to raise a human who knows how to love, receive love, and who chooses freely to keep you in their life. That choice is everything.
- [Deconstruct Your Kid's Defensive Behavior One Brick at a Time](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/deconstruct-your-kids-defensive-behavior-one-brick-at-a-time/) - Children don’t focus on the effects of their behavior when called out; they focus on themselves and strategize how to keep from getting in “trouble”.
- [A Mother's Day Letter](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-mothers-day-letter/) - A Mother's Day letter celebrating the invisible labor of moms, stepmoms, and grandmothers — and reminding them they are seen, valued, and enough.
- [A Letter to the Caregivers of New Graduates No One Thinks to Check On](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-letter-to-the-caregivers-of-new-graduates-no-one-thinks-to-check-on/) - Senior year asks something so difficult of parents: allowing your child to leave without guilt, and trusting that the relationship is strong enough to change.
- [When Your Child Embarrasses You: A Connective Parenting Perspective](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-your-child-embarrasses-you-a-connective-parenting-perspective/) - The moments our children embarrass us are some of the most useful because they reveal our own buttons and give us real practice at choosing relationships over reaction.
- [Why Your Child May Feel Unseen Even When You're Always There](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/why-your-child-may-feel-unseen-even-when-youre-always-there/) - Presence isn't the same as attunement. Learn why well-meaning encouragement can leave children feeling unseen — and how to repair the connection before it quietly breaks.
- [Can Connective Parenting Work With Difficult Kids?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/can-connective-parenting-work-with-difficult-kids/) - Connective Parenting asks of us to stop reading your child’s behavior as a message about who they are, and start reading it as a message about what’s happening inside them.
- [Helping Children Push Through Discomfort](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/helping-children-push-through-discomfort/) - When children learn they can move through hard moments with us not fixing, not rescuing, but staying & understanding, they carry that confidence forward.
- [Resisting the Urge to Help](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/resisting-the-urge-to-help/) - Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is take a breath, stay close, and let your child discover their own strength. You’re right there if they ask.
- [When Your Child Refuses School](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-your-child-refuses-school/) - It’s important to remember that school refusal isn’t a sign of bad parenting or a “defiant” child. It’s a sign of overwhelm.
- [Parenting Your Kid When Fear Takes Over: Breaking Cycles Without Breaking Connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/parenting-your-kid-when-fear-takes-over-breaking-cycles-without-breaking-connection/) - How unresolved grief and past trauma can shape our reactions to our teens—and how connective parenting helps us respond with steadiness and care.
- [When Our Emotions Boil Over—and What to Do About It](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-our-emotions-boil-over-and-what-to-do-about-it/) - When emotions bubble over, it’s an invitation. It's a chance to pause and model the skills you hope your child will use when their feelings get big.
- [Can You Have Empathy and Still Be The Authority?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/can-you-have-empathy-and-still-be-the-authority/) - The good news: empathy and authority are not opposites but partners for long-term resilience. It builds a relationship grounded in respect, not fear or control.
- [How Family Connection Builds Strong Communities](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-family-builds-communities/) - The family is our first community, and the community becomes our extended family. And connection—the thread between is what helps us all grow, heal, and thrive.
- [Shifting the Story on the Hidden Side of Dad Anxiety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/shifting-the-story-on-the-hidden-side-of-day-anxiety/) - When dads participate fully, not just in the tasks of parenting but in the emotional ecosystem, something beautiful happens. The partnership strengthens.
- [Letting Go of the Perfect Holiday: Staying Connected When Expectations Rise](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/letting-go-of-the-perfect-holiday-staying-connected-when-expectations-rise/) - This year, your holiday doesn’t need to be flawless. It just needs to be yours. Letting go isn’t lowering the bar. It’s raising the value of what matters most.
- [How to Navigate Holiday Triggers: A Practical Parent’s Guide to Stress-Free Family Time](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-navigate-holiday-triggers-a-practical-parents-guide-to-stress-free-family-time/) - Break generational patterns this holiday season with simple strategies to manage triggers, support your child, and protect your emotional well-being.
- [The Truth About Middle School: Why Ages 11–15 Feel So Turbulent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-truth-about-middle-school-why-ages-11-15-feel-so-turbulent/) - Understanding what’s happening inside your child’s brain, body, and heart can help you navigate these years with more patience, compassion, and connection.
- [Just Listen: The Simple Art That Gets Your Kids Talking, Feeling Heard, and Wanting to Connect](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/just-listen-the-simple-art-that-gets-your-kids-talking-feeling-heard-and-wanting-to-connect/) - Truly hearing our children builds trust, confidence, and openness. This simple act invites them to share more, not less. It’s one of the superpowers in Connective Parenting.
- [What We Mean by Connection—and How to Keep It Strong](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/what-we-mean-by-connection-and-how-to-keep-it-strong/) - It grows through the everyday choices you make to show up, stay present, and repair when things go wrong. Your child is learning from you how relationships work.
- [When Good Parenting Intentions Get in the Way of Connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-good-parenting-intentions-get-in-the-way-of-connection/) - Wanting to do it well is a beautiful instinct. It shows love. But perfection isn’t the goal—connection is.
- [A Connective Parent's Response: In Honor of the 10-Year Anniversary of the Viral Blog Post "The Letter Your Teenager Can't Write You" by Gretchen Schmelzer](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-connective-parents-response-in-honor-of-the-10-year-anniversary-of-the-viral-blog-post-the-letter-your-teenager-cant-write-you-by-gretchen-schmelzer/) - A brief excerpt from "The Letter Your Teenager Can't Write You" by Gretchen Schmelzer, originally posted on June 23, 2015: Dear Parent: This is the letter I wish I could write. This fight we are in right now. I need it. I need this fight. I can’t tell you this because I don’t have the
- [Connection Is Not Political—It’s Foundational](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connection-is-not-political-its-foundational/) - Connection is a fundamental human need. It is the heartbeat of secure attachment, emotional safety, healthy families, and thriving communities.
- [Let Them Dream: Supporting Children to Explore Life Without Pressure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/let-them-dream-supporting-children-to-explore-life-without-pressure/) - When we allow children to follow their own paths, they grow into adults who are creative, confident, and capable of building meaningful lives.
- [Beyond Talk: Modeling Anti-Racism for Children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/beyond-talk-modeling-anti-racism-for-children/) - Let’s stop asking, “How do I talk to my child about racism?” and start asking, “What am I modeling every day about belonging, power, fairness, and difference?”
- [When Parenting Advice Doesn’t Work for Your Neurodivergent Brain or Theirs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/navigating-neurodivergence-in-parent-child-dynamics/) - Start by recognizing that your neurodivergent child may interpret and experience the world in ways that feel unfamiliar to you, and that’s okay.
- [Protecting the Beauty and Integrity of Boys](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/protecting-the-beauty-and-integrity-of-boys/) - Teaching boys to use their words, express their needs, and set boundaries in a calm way helps them grow into confident, respectful men.
- [Creating Rituals & Routines That Strengthen Connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/creating-rituals-routines-that-strengthen-connection/) - Rituals and routines weave together the fabric of family connection and give our children the deep sense of security and belonging they need to thrive.
- [Recovering from a Shame Reaction: Rebuilding Connection and Healing Together](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/recovering-from-a-shame-reaction-rebuilding-connection-and-healing-together/) - Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about learning, growing, and reconnecting after mistakes.
- [The Difference Between Limits and Boundaries and Why It’s so Important](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-difference-between-limits-and-boundaries-and-why-its-so-important/) - If you want your children to become respectful, responsible people, you must model that behavior. With poor boundaries, this is hard to do. Contrary to popular opinion, boundaries and limits are very different from one another, although many use the words interchangeably. The word boundary is often used to refer to setting limits. Kids “push
- [The Hidden Impact of Shame (And How to Parent Without It)](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-hidden-impact-of-shame-and-how-to-parent-without-it/) - Shame is a powerful emotions a child can experience. But, hen we shame our children, we may be reinforcing the behaviors we’re trying to change.
- [Teaching Emotional Literacy: The Language of Feelings](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/teaching-emotional-literacy-the-language-of-feelings/) - By teaching emotional literacy-naming, validating, and expressing emotions in our everyday lives-we guide our children in understanding their own feelings and the feelings of others.
- [Parent Anxiety: How It Affects Children and Effective Ways to Manage It](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/parent-anxiety-how-it-affects-children-and-effective-ways-to-manage-it/) - By understanding and managing our anxiety, we create a supportive environment for our children. It’s about showing up with open and empathetic communication.
- [How to Step Out Of Your Child's Drama](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-step-out-of-your-childs-drama/) - Kids learn that they can come to you for guidance without needing to manage your emotions to their charged events, which helps them build deeper trust in you and themselves.
- [New Year’s Resolutions for Building Better Connections with Your Children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/new-years-resolutions-for-building-better-connections-with-your-children/) - Let’s build better connections with our kids, deepen curiosity about who they are, practice patience, and parent from a place of balance and strength.
- [Respecting Different Traditions During the Holidays](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/respecting-different-traditions-during-the-holidays/) - Respecting others’ traditions isn’t just about being polite; it’s about showing kindness, curiosity, and understanding.
- [Being You at Holiday Time](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/grandmothers-house-holidays/) - When you anticipate getting together with your parents or in-laws at holiday time, does "grandmother's house" cause stress just thinking about it?
- [Healing You To Connect With Them: Childhood Wounds and Not Passing Them On](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/healing-you-to-connect-with-them-childhood-wounds-and-not-passing-them-on/) - When you work on your own well-being, you model resilience and emotional intelligence, setting the stage for your kids to grow up feeling secure and connected.
- [Embracing Gratitude With A Little Help From Mr. Rogers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/embracing-gratitude-with-a-little-help-from-mr-rogers/) - Here are some ways to embrace gratitude with your children this season and beyond.
- [Announcing Shannon McNamara as Associate Director: New Initiatives at Connective Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/announcing-shannon-mcnamara-as-associate-director-new-initiatives-at-connective-parenting/) - We are thrilled to announce that Shannon McNamara, LICSW, has joined Connective Parenting as Associate Director.
- [How to Repair Yourself After Losing Control](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-repair-yourself-after-losing-control/) - Your thoughts generate your emotions which then provoke your reactions. If you want to change your reactions, go back and look at what you were thinking.
- [The “Wait until 8th" Pledge](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/wait-until-8th/) - With more self-confidence, they will be stronger when facing the bullying and anxiety that can arise through social media.
- [Why are Parents in a Mental Health Crisis?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/why-are-parents-in-a-mental-health-crisis/) - U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, a father of two, claims that 48% of parents feel “overwhelmingly stressed” every day, that parenting today has become a mental health crisis.
- [Turn "Potty Talk” into “Body Talk”](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/turn-potty-talk-into-body-talk/) - So instead of seeing potty talk as something that is too much, and he needs to be taught it is not okay, think instead what he is asking to learn about.
- [8 Ingredients to Set Your Child Up for School Success](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/5-ways-to-set-your-children-up-for-school-success/) - Fears of the future keep us setting expectations for the child we want rather than the child we have. School success becomes unlikely.
- [Are You Looking at School Success the Wrong Way?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/are-you-looking-at-school-success-the-wrong-way/) - Do you teach your children that their school performance is for you? That’s one way to diminish school motivation. All parents want their children to love school and learn lots. For too many children, the school years are a prison sentence to be endured. School often falls short of its intended role to encourage and
- [Teaching Your Child to Handle a Bully](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/aug-19-qa-teaching-your-child-to-handle-a-bully/) - Help them find the words to use to stop bullying and do not be tempted to fix this problem for them. Your work is to help them find their voice.
- [Focus on Trust to Encourage Your Child’s Potential](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/focus-on-trust-to-encourage-your-childs-potential/) - If you want to teach for a lifetime, use intrinsic motivation. This requires trust in the child to do the right thing because you know he wants to.
- [How Toddlers Learn Self-Control](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-toddlers-learn-self-control/) - It's important to know that a throw, a hit, a bite, a tantrum comes from this confused place inside. You can express anger while remaining calm and clear.
- [How to Raise a Child with Self-Confidence, Not Entitlement](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-raise-a-child-with-self-confidence-not-entitlement/) - How do I guide my child to self-authority? It is only with acceptance that behavior changes for the better and self-confidence develops.
- [Prevention of Drug Use: Are we looking deep enough?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/prevention-starts-at-home/) - Our state of NH is first in the nation in the horrendous heroin epidemic. Our Governor has appointed a "senior director for substance misuse and behavioral health" who is focusing on prevention by proposing “curriculum infusion” in our schools from kindergarten on up. I applaud this efforts highlighting prevention, which is intended to raise children’s
- [Talking to your Kids about Substance Abuse](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/talking-to-your-kids-about-substance-abuse/) - By Cassidy Webb When I started using drugs at 15 years old, I thought my parents had no idea. I was positive that I hid it well,but I was wrong. I thought that because I was still playing basketball and making good grades nobody would know I was abusing drugs and alcohol. My parents had
- [Why Kids Lie to Parents and What Helps](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/dec-19-qa-when-expectations-are-off-and-trust-gets-lost/) - Children lie to parents when your expectations are unrealistic. Here's how to set appropriate limits to common reasons why kids lie.
- [Healthy Boundaries are Necessary to Set Good Limits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/healthy-boundaries-are-necessary-to-set-good-limits/) - Healthy boundaries are about taking responsibility for yourself and not for others. Limits are about what behaviors I do and do not allow.
- [Empathy in Action: Nurturing Growth in Your Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/empathy-in-actionnurturing-growth-in-your-child/) - When parents tell their kids what they should do to improve themselves, it lands on the child as I’m not okay the way I am, instead of empathy in action.
- [12 Ways to Encourage School Motivation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/12-ways-encourage-school-motivation/) - We need to hand over education to our children and let them know they have our support in doing the best they can but not our disapproval if they don’t. Here's 12 ways to encourage school motivation.
- [A Fresh Start: Spring Cleaning Your Daily Routine for Family Harmony](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-fresh-start-spring-cleaning-your-daily-routine-for-family-harmony/) - Constructing your daily routine goals will have ripple effects on your children’s well-being and create a more peaceful home for a harmonious family life.
- [How To Get Your Kids to Listen-The First Time](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/my-kids-dont-listen-to-me-ever/) - How to get your kids to listen (the first time!), without the frustration of yelling, nagging, or asking again and again, takes connecting with them first.
- [Why Kids Lie and How To Handle It to Motivate Honesty and Trust](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/why-kids-lie-and-how-to-handle-it/) - Why DO kids lie? It's pretty straightforward but anything but obvious. Here's the break down on why kids lie and what you can do about it.
- [When Your Kids Push Your Buttons](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons-3/) - We all know the feeling. Our child says or does that certain something, we see red and react in ways we regret. We feel out of control, blame the child, and set up our next power struggle. We “go on automatic” and lose our maturity and authority. But we have a choice. We can either
- [What Are the Secrets that Make Children Successful?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/what-are-the-secrets-that-make-children-successful/) - Want to raise successful children fully capable of conducting their lives with responsibility and respect? Here are my secrets that make children successful.
- [How to Find Acceptance When Your Children Are Different from You](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-find-acceptance-when-your-children-are-different-from-you/) - In this Q&A: "I have a hard time seeing my daughter lie around doing nothing, watching everything I do." A: Maybe she's looking for the acceptance she needs.
- [5 Step Guide to Setting Successful Family Values](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/5-step-guide-to-setting-successful-family-values/) - Your goal for your children is to raise strong, self-confident, resilient, independent humans who contribute to society, right? This doesn’t just happen somewhere in the teen years. It starts from setting family values that begin with love, acceptance, support, and security from which they launch into their adult lives. This is their foundation.
- [Managing Family Disapproval at Holiday Time](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/nov-19-qa-managing-family-disapproval-at-holiday-time/) - Q. I have worked hard to raise my boys, 5 and 8, very differently from how I was raised. I have followed your principles of Connective Parenting and want to stick with them. One of my boys is very strong-willed and, as you say, “won’t take no for an answer”. The other is a gem,
- [Gratitude from Your Child’s Perspective](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/gratitude-from-your-childs-perspective/) - Gratitude comes from modeling. Watching how it’s done over time is the lesson.
- [It's Okay to Let Kids Quit Things](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/its-okay-to-let-kids-quit-things/) - In an age of intensive parenting with an emphasis on building resilience and antifragility in kids, it’s easy to panic when they want to quit something.
- [How to Resist the "Toughen Up Trap"](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/toughenuptrap/) - Living in a family, before launching independently into the world, is the place where one’s sense of self, trust, self-confidence, and motivation develop.
- [It's Okay To Parent Differently](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/its-okay-to-parent-differently/) - You don’t have to parent on the same page, but it’s important to be in the same book.
- [Addressing Heightened Aggression in Children: Understanding the Triggers and Implementing Effective Strategies](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/addressing-heightened-aggression-in-children-understanding-the-triggers-and-implementing-effective-strategies/) - Heightened aggression in children, characterized by intense anger outbursts, defiance, and physical attacks, impacts children's social interactions, academic progress, and emotional growth. Crucially addressed in early childhood, this issue, if unchecked, can result in lifelong anti-social or mental health issues. Understanding the triggers and implementing effective strategies for such aggression is vital, requiring the collaboration
- [The Power of Empathy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-power-of-empathy/) - Story: My strong willed 8 year old was diagnosed with anxiety and displays this with anger. Last March I got diagnosed with cancer and needed surgery. His anxiety hit the moon. He's been acting out by throwing a ball at kids, stepping on their feet, throwing sand, yelling, etc. I practiced your principles of empathy, and he was
- [8 Steps of a True Apology](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/8-steps-of-a-true-apology/) - It’s really easy to get down on yourself for behaving regretfully toward your child. What’s hard is forgiving yourself because you’re human and making amends. Repairing mistakes is one of the best skills you can teach your child. Isn’t this what we want them to be able to do? Repairing, apologizing, owning up and being
- [7 Important Homeschooling Mistakes to Avoid](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/7-important-homeschooling-mistakes-to-avoid/) - While you’re probably, and rightly, thinking about everything you should be doing, it’s also essential to think about the things you shouldn’t be doing, and the things you need to avoid.
- [Mindful Parenting: Accept Not Knowing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/mindful-parenting/) - We question ourselves and our competency. We’re never good enough. Perfectionism is on the rise. Human nature or chaotic world? Mindful parenting is needed.
- [How To Ask A Controlling Grandparent to Back Off](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-ask-a-controlling-grandparent-to-back-off/) - Q. I am the mother of two kids, 6 and 8. My mother’s overprotectiveness and interfering nature drives me nuts. She is a fixer for sure and has even called my boss when I shared problems I was having at work. It’s like she is my children’s parent, and I am the nanny. She tells
- [Unlock Positive Change in Your Child When You Adjust Your Expectations](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/unlock-positive-change-in-your-child-when-you-adjust-your-expectations/) - Q. My son is 11 and an only child. His first reaction to everything is negative, a sigh, makes a face and moans. This is the reaction to every meal (even stuff he likes), an outing he likes or even just being asked to watch tv with us. When we try to do fun family
- [Teaching Your Children Self-Control](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/teaching-your-children-self-control/) - You come home at the end of the day. Maybe you’ve picked up one child from daycare and another from a playdate. Your tired, you don’t have anything prepared for dinner, and you long for some space. And your kids go at it. Even if its loud fun screaming, it’s draining. But if it’s fighting
- [Why Building Connection Early Can Save Battles with Teens](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/why-building-connection-early-can-save-battles-with-teens/) - I often read Meghan Leahy’s advice in her column On Parenting for The Washington Post. I saw this headline, How do I connect with my teen son while respecting his independence, and had to read what she would say to this mom. After all, this is totally my wheelhouse. She said it so well
- [Opening up Communication so Sadness and Stress Doesn’t Turn to Depression](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/opening-up-communication-so-sadness-and-stress-doesnt-turn-to-depression/) - Q. I'm concerned about my almost 15 year-old boy. He is depressed and with good reason. He is slightly on the spectrum and has A.D.D. (no hyperactivity). We've moved twice in 14 months and we're currently renting. He is a creature of habit and our lives have been very unpredictable for almost three years. He lost his baby brother when
- [How to Stop Reacting in the Heat of the Moment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-stop-reacting-in-the-heat-of-the-moment/) - We all know what it’s like to get our buttons pushed. It feels like an attack and a flooding of emotion. We tend to retaliate automatically—it’s that fight, flight or freeze reaction. Typically, we lay blame on our children for doing the pushing or ourselves for being inadequate. But seldom do we do anything to
- [How to Help Kids Stop Hoarding Screentime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-help-kids-stop-hoarding-screentime/) - Screentime? How About Freetime Instead As a concerned parent worried about how much time your kids are spending on screens, is it possible you might be adding to the problem in a number of ways. There is no question your job as a parent is dramatically more difficult since video games, YouTube and social media
- [What do you do when your child “talks back”?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-talks-back/) - Q. My 8 year old son is constantly talking back to me and using vulgar language. I tell him that is not acceptable, and he keeps doing it. He argues and doesn’t listen to authority—my authority anyway. He’s fine at school. Teachers love him. When I was young, I would have been smacked if I
- [Childhood Beliefs: The Keepers of the Secrets](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/childhood-beliefs/) - When long-held childhood beliefs are dashed, parents need to pick up the pieces and initiate children into the keepers of the secrets.
- [Helping Children Confront A Bully](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/helping-children-confront-a-bully/) - Q. Ines, 8, is a very sweet playing, sporty, capable but gentle friend. On the playground one of her better friends at school is starting to bully her. Tonight she was crying as the girl was telling her to go into a dark shed in the playground. Ines said she didn’t want to as she
- [When Do I Draw the Line?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-do-i-draw-the-line/) - Parents who want to leave the reward and punishment methods behind often have a hard time letting go fully and embracing a truly connective relationship with their children. When my child won’t do what has to be done, I have to draw the line, don’t I? I try to be empathic and listen, but where
- [Why Rules Feed Resistance and Agreements Build Respect](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/why-rules-feed-resistance-and-agreements-build-respect/) - Q. I’ve been a long time subscriber and benefitted on how to handle parenting issues mostly when my kids were very young. Now my son has turned 18 and feels entitled to stay out as long as he wants. For me and my husband, we still think that house rules apply but I’m finding it
- [Self-confident Kids are Best Prepared for Success](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/self-confident-kids-are-best-prepared-for-success/) - Q. I have enjoyed reading many things on your website. My husband and I are the owners of 1 integrity child and 1 harmony child. The first makes me nearly lose my mind as I am an integrity person as well. My question is how do you help them understand that the world doesn’t
- [The Power of Acceptance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-power-of-acceptance-2/) - Instead of starting off the new year with resolutions you are likely to ignore, how about deciding to accept yourself and your kids just the way you are? You might find that acceptance is much harder than setting unrealistic goals that keep you in a state of tension when you can’t meet them or control
- [How Parents Can Encourage Gratitude and Gift-Giving](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-parents-can-encourage-gratitude-and-gift-giving/) - Q. How do you encourage gratitude in your children when they receive gifts? Mine just tear into them and could care less where they came from. I feel the cold stares from my family members when they are not acknowledged, or I have to tell my kids to say thank you. They’re old enough to
- [Hear Bonnie Harris Talk Connective Parenting on the Safe Home Podcast](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/hear-bonnie-harris-talk-connective-parenting-on-the-safe-home-podcast/) - I was so honored to sit down as a guest recently with Beth Syverson, who has created the Safe Home Podcast with her son, Joseph Nakao. It's a terrific resource that focuses on helping struggling teens and their families find their healing path. In this episode, we talked about the question: HOW CAN WE BE
- [The Screen Time Diet: helping your teen find balance with their tech](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-screen-time-diet-helping-your-teen-find-balance-with-their-tech/) - For teens, the wave of activity on TikTok, Instagram and games like Roblox can take up hours of their day. Too much screen time can mean they aren’t socialising, staying active or spending enough time doing their homework. But tech can also offer lots of amazing ways for them to learn new skills, get creative
- [How to Manage a Meltdown](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-manage-a-meltdown/) - Tis the season—for stress, impatience and probably some unrealistic expectations and resentment over why your family isn’t like the happy ones you see on Instagram. That means trickle down stress for your children, no matter what age. Your littlest ones may show it in irregular sleep, eating, toileting and generally cranky behavior. Your middle ones
- [How to Avoid the Struggle of Parenting Under Scrutiny](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-avoid-the-struggle-of-parenting-under-scrutiny/) - Q. I have a very strong-willed, acting out 8-year-old boy. I only recently read and started implementing your 8 principles book and watched your YouTube videos and am trying to implement your “connective parenting” approach which has already been very helpful. But I have struggled with this for so long, and I have a hard
- [Why Vacationing with Kids Boosts Their Development](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/why-vacationing-with-kids-boosts-their-development/) - This month, Bonnie has invited guest writer, Abi Long, to offer her traveling insights for families. "Having fun with children creates connection. Connection builds relationships. Relationships are what we need to raise our children. So start having more fun, more of the time." ~ Bridgett Miller Vacations are a brilliant way for adults to
- [From “Toilet Talk” to Curse Words: How Forbidding Turns Curiosity into Weaponry](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/from-toilet-talk-to-cursing-words-how-forbidding-turns-curiosity-into-weaponry/) - Q. We have a 4-year-old turning 5 next month, and we have a lot of toilet talk going on. We’ve tried ignoring it, explaining why it’s not okay and that it’s not okay to use in our house. Nothing seems to work. He just lays around and says: penis, boobies, vagina and other words. No
- [How We Say It Makes or Breaks Connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/communicate-makes-breaks-connection/) - Connection depends on the type of our communication.
- [Are you (accidentally) invalidating your child’s feelings?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/are-you-accidentally-invalidating-your-childs-feelings/) - Are you trying to do the right thing by validating your child’s feelings only to hear even angrier tirades? Your best intentions backfire and you don’t know why. Let’s break this down to figure out why your child is reacting negatively when you are trying to empathize. “I am understanding of how my child is
- [When (and when not) to Talk to Your Kids About Sex](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-and-when-not-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-sex/) - Q. While listening to one of your insightful podcasts, "Mom, When Can I Start Watching Porn?", I heard you say "that the best time to start introducing your children to the mechanics of sex and how babies are made and born is between 4 and 6, before it becomes embarrassing, shocking and awkward. If you
- [Want to Know the Secret to Supporting Your Perfectionist Child?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/want-to-know-the-secret-to-supporting-your-perfectionist-child/) - Q. My daughter freezes when she is asked a question on the spot or during exams because she is fearful of being wrong, not knowing the answers or not being able to complete the entire tests. What advice should I give her to help her overcome this fear? A. Of course you want to help
- [Connecting with a Child’s Negative Self-Talk](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connecting-with-a-childs-negative-self-talk/) - We are so quick to get our kids to see things how we think they should see them. We spend way too much time being rational from an adult point of view and have a hard time getting into the child’s point of view.
- [Jan ’22 Q&A – The Rise in Suicide Since COVID-19: Can strong boundaries make a difference? (Revising a conversation from Oct ‘19)](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/jan-22-qa-the-rise-in-suicide-since-covid-19-can-strong-boundaries-make-a-difference-revisiting-a-conversation-from-oct-19/) - Research shows that connection is the #1 preventive measure against anything you fear in the teen years, including suicide.
- [He’s an Integrity Kid, Not a Habitual Liar](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/he-is-an-integrity-kid-not-a-habitual-liar/) - Q. My 9 year old boy’s behavior is driving me nuts and making me feel like failure. He is a strong-willed, smart boy, who will do anything only if he likes it. There are many things he decides he doesn’t like to do or eat, and there is no cajoling that can get him to
- [Oct '19 Q&A - The Rise in Suicide: Can strong boundaries make a difference?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/oct-19-qa-the-rise-in-suicide-can-strong-boundaries-make-a-difference/) - Q. There were recently two child suicides in neighboring towns to us in less than two weeks, one of them a 13 year old. How does this happen? How can I protect my tween from a similar fate? I am at a loss. What is happening in the world??
- [There’s a Crack in Everything](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/theres-a-crack-in-everything/) - These are dark times even though it’s getting lighter outside. None of us ever imagined—even a month ago—that we would be sheltered in our homes, fearing the coronavirus, learning daily the frightening number of new cases and deaths, unable to get together with friends and family, wearing masks when food supplies must be refilled, and
- [28 Reasons to Be a Connective Parent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/28-reasons-to-be-a-connective-parent-3/) - Q. I am really trying to parent my two kids, 5 and 7, differently than the way I was raised. I am good at telling my husband and my friends that I want to parent with connection. But when they say what does that mean, I’m lost. I get about as far as – ‘Well,
- [How to Give an Allowance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-give-an-allowance/) - ~ so your kids grow up financially savvy. Ever get sick and tired of kids begging for one more thing? Ever feel taken for granted because your kids don’t appreciate all you do and buy for them? Ever wish your teenager was more responsible with money? Ever wish your children had a little more patience
- [When Your Kids Fight: Entering The Triangle Zone](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-your-kids-fight-entering-the-triangle-zone/) - Nothing is more time consuming, frustrating, worrisome, and annoying than your children’s sibling rivalry. In an nano second, you fear they will never have any meaningful relationships of any kind. You don't know what to do to change it, you yell at their behavior and maybe send one or both to their rooms. And it
- [June '19 Q&A – Control vs. Problem Solving and Balance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/june-19-qa-control-vs-problem-solving-and-balance/) - Q. I have a 16 yr. old daughter home from boarding school after 3 years. Since school started, she has been with "friends" every evening till 8 or 9 PM. On weekends, she has been out at least till 11 PM. She wants me to extend weeknight curfew to 9 PM and to midnight on
- [How to Talk to Your Kids About the Hard Stuff](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-the-hard-stuff/) - After the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary, I wrote an article called Look for the Helpers inspired by Fred Rogers. I am redoing it with the same basic message—sadly because so much more has happened. Not only has gun violence increased, but our democracy and our climate are threatened. Whatever side of the political spectrum
- [How to Ready Your Kids for Financial Success from the Beginning](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-ready-your-kids-for-financial-success-from-the-beginning/) - As parents, our goal is to prepare our children for adult life, independence, and successful living. A key component of this is ensuring they have the best understanding of personal finance as possible. However, this can be a daunting task, especially if we, as parents, may not be modeling the best behaviors when it comes
- [Eat Your Peas or No Dessert! Establishing Healthy Eating Habits.](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/eat-your-peas-or-no-dessert-establishing-healthy-eating-habits/) - Do you have a picky eater? Are you worried your child will never get any nutrition and will eat only white food for the rest of her life? Or is p, b, and j your son’s only staple? Keeping our children healthy and well fed tops the list of any parent’s job description. Every trick
- [Involve Your Child in Choosing Activities](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/involve-child-choosing-activities/) - How do you manage choosing activities for your kids? What do you do when money has been spent? Or children who begged for a program refuse to go?
- [Feb. ’19 Q&A – Food Demands,  Imagination and Fear, and Religious Doubt](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/feb-19-qa-food-demands-imagination-and-fear-and-religious-doubt/) - Stop Catering to Food Demands Q. My kids, 5 and 3, have had catered food of their choice their whole lives, and we can't figure out how to switch without enduring weeks and months of misery at the table. When we tried a year ago, we gave up after about a week and a half
- [Grief and Loss](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/grief-and-loss/) - Three days ago we had to put our adored eleven year old dog to sleep. The sorrow has been immense. Only two days before that we found out that he had lots of cancer including all through his lungs. He had slowed down a bit and had become finicky about eating in the last couple
- [Hugs Reduce Stress](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/hugs-reduce-stress/) - Toxic stress in early childhood can harm children for life, warns the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Center for Disease Control (CDC). Don't think your children have experienced toxic stress? All children do to differing degrees. Whoever said childhood is bliss didn’t know what he was talking about. Children experience stress just by being
- [8 Suggestions for Teaching Mindfulness to Children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/8-suggestions-for-teaching-mindfulness-to-children/) - By Aimee Laurence Mindfulness is good for all of us. It helps us be present as parents, choosing better responses instead of going with the first thing that comes to mind. It’s also good for children because it helps them pay attention, stay calm when they feel upset, and improves their decision making. In order
- [When You Think Your Teen May Be Depressed](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/7-ways-to-help-teens-with-depression/) - Q. My concern is that my teenage son who has been struggling with remote learning and isolation, is of a generation that grew up having to be worried about school shootings, climate, higher levels of political divide, protests and rioting, and now a pandemic. I’m wondering if I should have an in-depth conversation with him
- [10 Ways to Deal with Fear and Anger](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/10-ways-to-deal-with-fear-and-anger/) - Q. I just completed chapter 7, Don’t Take It Personally, in your Buttons book. Holy cow, that is my life right now! Things have been tough on-and-off for the last 4 years, but with being stuck at home, resistance to distance learning, working as a single mom, and feeling isolated with no break from each
- [Stress Management Needed? Look for the Triggers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/stress-management-needed-look-for-the-triggers/) - With Covid stretching all of us thin, families are experiencing more emotional upheavals than ever—kids and parents, alike. The #1 step to managing anger and stress is to give yourself and your kids a break and keep it present—stop catastrophizing fears into the future—easier said than done. Covid adds enormous stress to an already stressful
- [Happy Siblings for Mother's Day](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/happy-siblings-for-mothers-day/) - Answers to managing sibling fights and connecting with compassion found in Dr. Laura Markam's book, "Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings".
- [January '18 Q&A - Sharing & Hogging, School Resistance and The Dark Side](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/january-18-qa-sharing-hogging-school-resistance-dark-side/) - Sharing and Hogging Q. My three-year-old has a very big issue with sharing and hogging. She has an 18 mo. old sister who is not allowed to touch anything. I understand that my daughter still is having a hard time with her arrival, she has to share me, she doesn't get to have me all
- [6 Warning Signs You Need to Empower Your Harmony Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/6-warning-signs-you-need-to-empower-your-harmony-child/) - Harmony children thrive on harmony. They make you feel like a great parent. But they also make it easy to be lazy at parenting.
- [Is It Ever Effective to Take Away Privileges?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/is-it-ever-effective-to-take-away-privileges/) - Q. I know you don’t believe in consequences, but is there ever a circumstance where a consequence is effective even when knowing the root cause of the behavior? Example: My 10-year-old son expressed this morning that he wished he didn’t have to go to school. He was moody and angry. I did some digging and
- [September '17 Q&A - Getting Out the Door, Talking About Suicide, Sibling Conflict](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/getting-out-the-door/) - Getting Out the Door Q. HOW do I get my 3.75 yr. old to MOVE in the morning?? It's not a matter of getting up earlier or being more organized. When he knows we're going to school, he puts the breaks on and repeatedly tells me he doesn't want to go to school. This is his
- [Steps to Help a Bullied Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/steps-to-help-a-bullied-child/) - It is not easy to learn your child is being bullied. You are ready to do battle—anything to save your child from the pain and agony of daily terrorizing. Especially if you were bullied as a child. It’s hard enough to watch a sibling use age and power to overcome the wishes of the younger
- [The Bossy Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/bossy-child/) - Bossy typically translates for a frustrated parent as mean, rude, know-it-all, bully, show-off, controller—basically a child with no friends.
- [The Powerful Meaning of Play](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-powerful-meaning-of-play/) - Q: Our bedtime pattern seems to be my 4-yr-old daughter pushing limits until there's a consequence; then she sulks. Two nights ago, for example, she had a couple of little stuffed animals that she was giving voices to that kept interrupting story-time. I said she could hold onto them as long as they didn't interrupt
- [Expert Advice to Design the Ultimate Kids Playroom at Home - Porch](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/expert-advice-to-design-the-ultimate-kids-playroom-at-home-porch/) - April 15, 2022 Teresa Siqueira This article first appeared in Porch Playing involves so much more than just having fun. It’s an essential activity for kids to have a healthy development. As parents, you can adapt any space at home and design a playroom where your kids can explore, get creative, and learn. We asked experts
- [Basic Trust: Seeing All that Glorious Light](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/basic-trust-seeing-all-that-glorious-light/) - As I sit blissfully holding my infant grandson, I am struck by his fragility and vulnerability. He is dependent on us, his caregivers. And we in turn look to every possible behavioral sign to determine what needs caring for. Is he hungry, tired, does he have an internal pain, does he need a burp, a
- [Chores and Other Distasteful Words](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/chores-and-other-distasteful-words/) - I hate the word chores, and I can guarantee your kids do too. Asking kids to do chores is like saying I want you to take on this drudgery, this burden. And then when the expectation is that they should do them willingly because of all you do for them—that’s a catastrophe waiting to happen.
- [Feb '22 Q&A Hitting a Wall? (Revising a conversation from May '20)](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/feb-22-qa-hitting-a-wall/) - We're all having bigger than normal emotions through this pandemic. Let them be your signal to stop your agenda and just be with your kids.
- [Willful Defiance: A Lesson for Parents and Teachers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/willful-defiance-a-lesson-for-parents-and-teachers/) - "Defiant" kids are square pegs society tries to fit into its round holes. What if instead of denying their emotions, we aim for understanding?
- [Can You Be Friends with Your Child?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/can-you-be-friends-with-your-child/) - Does the separation of friend and parent give permission to treat children differently from how we treat friends?
- [‘Tis the Season for Compassion](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tis-the-season-for-compassion/) - Expectations are always high at the holidays. It’s the season for joy, cheer, and family gatherings. But just as often, it’s not for so many.
- [Simple Ways to Get Your Child in the Mindset of Gift Giving](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/gift-giving-mindset/) - Developing a generous spirit in children is a process that can’t exactly be taught, but experienced. So much depends on how it is modeled.
- [Give Up Screentime Fights](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/give-up-screentime-fights/) - So much worry, arguing, screaming, and power struggles are spent between parents and kids over screen time. The jury is still out on the effects but enough has been written about brain damage, nature deprivation, inactivity, eye damage, etc., etc. to keep parents tethered to a rope yanking their children away from the very thing
- [9 Signs Your Defiant Kid is Actually an Integrity Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/9-signs-your-defiant-kid-is-actually-an-integrity-child/) - Are you exhausted and overwhelmed by your clever manipulator who fights you every step of the way? My guess is you have an Integrity Child.
- [3 Ways to Solve Being Late to School](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/late-to-school/) - "How should I respond to a child (12yo) who is always late?" There are likely 3 motivating factors you can dig into to solve the problem.
- [Thinking Outside the Box for School-Resistant Kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/thinking-outside-the-box-for-school-resistant-kids/) - School doesn’t work for every kid—for an awful lot of kids actually. Now the question is what to do. I say: Get Creative!
- [3 Ways to Set the Emotional Tone for the New School Year](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/3-ways-to-set-the-emotional-tone-for-the-new-school-year/) - For our kids, navigating masks and relationships back at school can be tricky. Now's the time to listen and to set the right emotional tone.
- [Too many toys?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/too-many-toys/) - Kids have too many toys. Try rotation or giving simple toys to play with.
- ['Mom! You’re so annoying!'](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/mom-youre-so-annoying/) - But when barbs from your child come on strong—and only you will know when that is—do not simply take it and build resentment and anger.
- [No Malicious Intent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/no-malicious-intent/) - Your worry, your frustration, your impatience is your problem, not hers. When you get mad at her or respond punitively, you are asking a child who is not capable yet of understanding to take care of your problem.
- [Finding the “I” in Motherhood](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/finding-the-i-in-motherhood/) - Our second Covid Mother’s Day is upon us. How will you spend it? Will your children bring you breakfast in bed and give you loving cards? Or will you be on duty once again, feeling resentful of the mothers who get breakfast in bed?
- [Embracing Screen Time](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/embracing-screen-time/) - How much to control or not over gaming and internet use seems to be the biggest challenge any parent has ever had to face.
- [Social Media Masquerade](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/social-media-masquerade/) - Our kids social media use freaks us out, and often rightfully so, but remember, for centuries we have been altering our public self-image.
- [Cookie Momster](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/cookie-momster/) - Your daughter is not yet thinking about what is good for her health and well-being and what she should be doing to enrich herself and her body.
- [Just Being](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/just-being/) - This past year, did you tell your kids how amazing they are? Did you tell them how great they are for facing a challenging situation head-on?
- [Being a Better Pandemic Parent: Lighten Up](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/being-a-better-pandemic-parent-lighten-up/) - With spring in the air and vaccines on the rise, life as we once knew it is calling, but we are still very much stuck in the pandemic.
- [How to Stop Yelling (so much)](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-stop-yelling-so-much/) - You may be addicted to yelling. We can get addicted to patterns of behavior, especially when we experienced those patterns growing up.
- [Doubt: It's Pros and Cons](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/doubt-its-pros-and-cons/) - Doubt is something that drives us nuts as parents but can both serve us and undermine us. If you didn't doubt what you were doing as a parent, you wouldn't be a conscious parent. We all know parents who know what is right and what is wrong and nothing moves them from that mark. Many
- [The Irony of Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-irony-of-parenting/) - My adult daughter was just home for three weeks in August before starting grad school in NYC. It was heaven for me. I relished every minute and spent too much time dreading the end of her stay. I've often thought, isn't it crazy that we spend so many years in the trenches of parenting—and let
- [The Moments of Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-moments-of-parenting/) - I am beginning my second attempt at blogging with some thoughts about the anxiety and fears that arise in every day parenting. What am I supposed to do? How much should I push? When do I pull back? What is the right answer? When is this child ever going to learn….? I don’t know whether
- [Lessons our Children Bring Us](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/lessons-our-children-bring-us/) - Lessons our Children Bring Us The more we are able to drop into the present moment with a child and accept whatever is being presented, the more we come to understand, appreciate, and cherish what makes this child unique and special. No matter what the outward behavior, it is the inward psyche, the core of
- [Blog-Maybe things don't have to be different](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/blog-maybe-things-dont-have-to-be-different/) - I just read a very powerful sentence in a wonderful book, The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison. She said, "As soon as I stop wishing for things to be different, I am met by the beauty of what is...." How much time do we spend wishing for things to be different. I
- [Yoga Meets Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/yoga-meets-parenting/) - In the teachings of yoga, tension is experienced and released on three levels. The first and most obvious is the physical, next the emotional and finally the mental. In parenting it is the same thing. Our outward manifestations of tension, stress, worry, fear is in the physical—yelling, tone of voice, language, facial expressions. These physical
- [Holding on and Letting Go](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/holding-on-and-letting-go/) - From the first moment of birthing a baby from the womb into the world of sudden cold, brightness and newness, we are in the process of letting go of these precious beings into their own lives. The management of the balance of holding safely and letting go is the art of parenting. It may be
- [Seattle and San Fran](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/seattle-and-san-fran/) - I'm heading out tomorrow to Seattle to give 4 different workshops at the La Leche conference in Redmond. And then on Monday, I leave for San Francisco to do a number of workshops and talks. Please check out my newsletter - https://www.connectiveparenting.com/newsletter.html - to see details and contact information in the Upcoming schedule section. There
- [Nature/Nurture](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/naturenurture/) - I had a really interesting dinner conversation the other night. A friend asked me what ratio I would put on the old nature/nurture argument. Everyone chipped in their opinions, and it led to a very lively discussion. Even though the topic was the content of my masters thesis, I hadn't thought about how I would
- [Stopping by a Moose/Intrinsic Rewards](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/stopping-by-a-mooseintrinsic-rewards/) - Yesterday driving through MA, I spotted a moose in the woods. It was huge. My friend who was driving turned around so we could all see it. We stopped on the side of the road and my husband got out to take a picture. Just then the moose moved, and my friend backed up a
- [Pendulum Parenting-from "nice" to "Chinese"!](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/pendulum-parenting-from-nice-to-chinese/) - How many parents find a balance in their parenting that works. We seem to go through cycles, fads as it were. We didn't like the autocratic parenting many of us were brought up with so we reacted and swung the opposite way being nice to our children, giving them all they want at the same
- [Lessons from "Chinese mothering"](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/lessons-from-chinese-mothering/) - Never have I experienced such a collective button being pushed than with Amy Chua's revelatory story of how she raised her two girls the Chinese way. Is it the threat we feel when she throws western parenting under the bus? This is what happens to anyone of us when we feel blamed, disdained, or put
- [A Word about Obedience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-word-about-obedience/) - I just heard a woman on the radio talking about her sexual abuse by a Catholic priest. She said that the church's doctrine of obedience was a large part of it. "How else," she said, "would a child be willing to endure that kind of control and not say anything about it?" - or words
- [Can we bully our kids out of bullying?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/bully-kids-out-of-bullying/) - A lot of bullying is generated in homes where bullying occurs. We punish and threaten children to get them to do what we want. Isn't that bullying?
- [Parenting is not a contest](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/parenting-is-not-a-contest/) - The traditional reward and punishment model of parenting sets the parent/child relationship up as a contest. The other day I ran into a friend with her toddler. They had just had a tiff while taking a walk. She said to me, "I'm not sure whether I won that round or not." How did it get
- [Misbehavior = Mis(taken)behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/misbehavior-mistakenbehavior/) - Your child's behavior is only the tip of the iceberg. Don't take it literally. It has emotional triggers hidden beneath the surface.
- [5 Building Blocks to Raising Resilient Children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/5-building-blocks-to-raising-resilient-children/) - How well does your child deal with adversity, cope in difficult situations, become stronger after disappointments? In other words, how resilient is she? We often think that our job is to protect our children from the tough situations of life, but in fact, our protection helps only us.
- [Understanding Shared Power](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/understanding-shared-power/) - When I tell parents to share power with their child, they get nervous. "Wait, I'm the parent? Aren't I the one in charge?"
- [The Perils of Replacing Play with Homework](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/replacing-play-with-homework/) - Unstructured play helps children learn how to get along with others and control their emotions, as well as to develop imagination.
- [Does Whining Drive You Crazy?!](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/does-whining-drive-you-crazy/) - I've never met a parent who likes—no, is even okay with—whining. For me it was like nails on a blackboard. Many parents don't know of another torture that would be worse. Whining is as developmental and normal in a toddler's life as discovering the pleasure of saying "no". Don't think about teaching your child not
- [For Mother's Day: Is Mothering the Hardest Job?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/for-mothers-day-is-mothering-the-hardest-job/) - Thanks to Hilary Rosen’s comment about Ann Romney never working a day in her life, the subject of mothering has come to the fore once again – just in time for Mother’s Day. While I believe that parenting, whether done primarily by a mother or a father, is indeed the hardest and most important job
- [A Breastfeeding War?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-breastfeeding-war/) - Is this the age of guilty parents? Have mothers always felt this guilty? I don’t think guilt was part of my mother’s generation of parenting—even though she felt plenty guilty…but we won’t go there. Revolution requires a pendulum swing. We know so much more in the past two decades about brain development and children’s needs
- [The Parent-Child Baggage Cycle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-parent-child-baggage-cycle/) - Ever wonder why you yell at your kids, take away privileges and put them in time out and nothing seems to change? It's because you are spinning the endless cycle of action and reaction instead of stopping it. You are expecting your child to make the change and be the grown-up first. A father I
- [Is Your Graduate Ready for Graduation?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/is-your-graduate-ready-for-graduation/) - If your child is graduating from kindergarten, elementary school or middle school, the next step is obvious. Worse-case scenario is repeating a grade. Many high school graduates will go on to college. But for those at the end of their academic journey, there is the world at large waiting for them. Most parents are left
- [Are we ready or able to stop bullying?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/are-we-ready-or-able-to-stop-bullying/) - The youtube capture of the 68-year-old bus monitor being bullied by a group of 12-14 year olds has been viewed by almost 5 million and has raised the ire of each one of us. We are all full of opinions and judgments. But what would you do if you were the parent of one of
- [Are you an Ostrich Parent?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/are-you-an-ostrich-parent/) - Just two weeks ago a new study came out of the University of Manitoba showing the effects of spanking and corporal punishment including slapping, shoving, grabbing, and hitting. Researchers examined data from more than 34,000 adults and found that being spanked significantly increased the risk of developing mental health issues and mood disorders in adults,
- [How Much is too Much: Are you a Toxic Parent?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-much-is-too-much-are-you-a-toxic-parent/) - Many of today’s parents fear that if they don’t give their children the right push out of the crib, they will not make it in this world of high-powered over-achievers. The fear is that anything less than a Harvard post-graduate degree will leave our children on the corner asking for spare change. The days of
- [The Pause that Refreshes](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-pause-that-refreshes/) - Your child reacts uncontrollably to something you have said. You either least expect it, highly disapprove of it, are hurt by it, or it reinforces what a terrible job you think you are doing in raising this brat. What’s your immediate reaction? Let me guess. You react uncontrollably back. You yell, you blame, and you
- [Want to get your kids to cooperate? Set challenges.](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/want-to-get-your-kids-to-cooperate-set-challenges/) - Young children LOVE being challenged. Give them a problem to solve, a way to compete against themselves and they will rise to your challenge every time—as long as your challenge is given with a light-hearted, fun and games attitude. It’s so exhausting and draining to keep yelling at our kids, threatening them to get them
- [5 Things Never to Ask Your Child Right After School](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/5-things-never-ask-after-school/) - They have just spent a long hard day at school meeting expectations, coping as best they can, and hopefully working hard and learning. They need a break.
- [Thoughts on Gratitude](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/thoughts-on-gratitude/) - This is the time of year when everyone talks about gratitude. What are we grateful for? How do we teach our children gratitude? How can we be more grateful for all we have? Although I have not had a great loss in my life since I was young, I have had friends with losses who
- [Trust Your Children More; Teach Them Less](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/trust-children-teach-less/) - When we support and trust who our children are with their gifts and talents, we learn that all they need is self-confidence to find their way.
- [Look for the Helpers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/look-for-the-helpers/) - What should we say to our children in the wake of this horrific school shooting? How can we ease their fears and answer their questions, not to mention ours? We look for the right thing to say just as we look for the motive of the killer—to make it all make sense, fix what needs
- [Mass Killings: When Do We Talk about Parenting?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/mass-killings-when-do-we-talk-about-parenting/) - Perhaps the only silver lining to the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary is emerging conversations and, hopefully, policy changes for gun control and mental illness. Both are in dire need of a relook and a revision, even though neither is likely to eradicate mass shootings. But what about emotional illness, which affects so many more
- [Evidence of our Culture of Punishment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/evidence-of-our-culture-of-punishment/) - While most readers of the viral blog, “I am Adam Lanza’s Mother” (http://is.gd/37Hw8n) were overcome with empathy for this mother of a reportedly mentally ill son and christened her a national heroine, I had a different take. I could not help but see it all from her son’s perspective. The author, Liza Long, and mother
- [Empathy vs Sympathy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/empathy-vs-sympathy/) - If I have empathy for my child’s problem, I stay detached to a certain extent. But I am detached from making it my problem, not from my child.
- [In Time of Tragedy, Look to Yourself First](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/in-time-of-tragedy-look-to-yourself-first/) - Another tragedy has hit the airwaves and the school hallways. Again the question is raised, “What do I tell my kids?” I addressed this question the best I could—who can ever answer this well?—in my blog, “Look for the Helpers” after Sandy Hook. This time I want to look at a different angle—one that may
- [10 Ways to Stop Helicopter Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/stop-helicopter-parenting/) - Helicopter parenting means taking too much responsibility for children and fixing their problems to protect them from upset or disappointment.
- [The Do’s and Don’ts of Ending Power Struggles – Forever](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-dos-and-donts-of-ending-power-struggles-forever/) - When my daughter Molly was five, I was exhausted. I couldn’t see a way out of our daily power struggles. She was pushing all my buttons, and I was reacting with hostility. But it was the mental notes playing in my head that got me the most. I was worried we would fight always. Fortunately
- [Problem Solving 101](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/problem-solving-101/) - My husband and I were taking a walk with our 21 month old grandson. For a short distance we needed to walk in the road. I said, “Hold my hand Sam. You have to hold my hand in the road.” At first he did and then he had a different idea and pulled his hand
- [Are You Raising Your Boys to be Men or Misogynists?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/are-you-raising-your-boys-to-be-men-or-misogynists/) - Last summer two teenaged football players in Steubenville, Ohio got a 16 year old girl beyond drunk, carried her from party to party, and repeatedly raped and abused her in front of many consenting friends. So “cool” was this, they joked and bragged about it in texts and on the web. They were recently tried
- [Humpty-Dumpty Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/humpty-dumpty-parenting/) - Ever feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”? Does it seem like you are on constant alert for the next emotional “episode” to erupt? Sometimes it seems that if you look cross-eyed, your child will meltdown. Asking him to put on his jacket can seem like you’ve told him to jump off a cliff. “…for no
- [A Mother's Day Gift](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/a-mothers-day-gift/) - Being a mother is no piece of cake. From the beginning there is seemingly endless crying, sleepless nights, demands on your time and energy, exhaustion both physical and mental, putting your needs on indefinite hold—forgetting what your needs even are. Kids fight—with each other and with you. You know it’s your job to do something
- [It's easier than you think—and the hardest thing you'll ever do.](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/its-easier-than-you-think-and-the-hardest-thing-youll-ever-do/) - I spend a lot of time writing and talking about my opinions on children’s behavior, my theories of Connective Parenting, validation, acceptance—all the principles I believe in to encourage parents to let go of the old traditional methods of parenting we have used for eons. I want us to change our mindsets from a culture
- [Are Gender Lines Getting Blurrier?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/are-gender-lines-getting-blurrier/) - An email was sent out to every parent at our local middle school the other day saying that one of the sixth grade male children wished from this point forward to be addressed and accepted as a girl. She had been dressing as a girl at home for some time and could no longer tolerate
- [Worried your child is a quitter?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/worried-your-child-is-a-quitter/) - How many times have you signed your child up for swimming, soccer, gymnastics, violin or piano lessons, camp—she even being begged for it—only to hear, “I don’t want to go”? It’s hard not to be furious—“But you said this is what you wanted”—especially when money is involved. Sometimes your child has been involved with the
- [Are You Really Listening?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/are-you-really-listening/) - I often talk about the importance of listening to our children—really paying attention to what they are saying and doing—so that we learn how to “read between the lines” of their behavior and are better able to interpret what they say and do. When we understand our children, we take their words and behavior much
- [When My Dog Pushed My Buttons and What I Learned from It](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-my-dog-pushed-my-buttons-and-what-i-learned-from-it/) - The other day I went kayaking with my husband, some friends, and my puppy, Maggie. Last summer, Maggie’s first summer, she learned to nestle with me in the dell of my kayak. She wasn’t always happy to sit still but she got better as the summer progressed and seemed to enjoy being out on the
- [7 Ways to Start the School Year Off Right](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/start-school-right/) - This school year, send your children messages of confidence and competence. Let them know that you trust that they want what’s best for them.
- [My Homework Challenge: Being Your Child's Best Advocate](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/homework-challenge-2/) - The question is, does a good education require hours of homework each night. Or is a better education achieved by a child who loves to learn?
- [Emotional Roller Coasters: The Human Condition](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/emotional-roller-coasters-the-human-condition/) - Did you ever have something really good happen that you had mixed emotions about? Ever dip into a panic right before you got married or had a baby? Have you ever been offered a job you sought only to wish you hadn’t gotten it? Have you ever had times when you are very emotional but
- [Taming Temper Tantrums](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/taming-temper-tantrums/) - Our adult reasoning brains have forgotten what it is like to be a child trapped in a body that often will not do his bidding, i.e. a temper tantrum.
- [The 10 Second Rule](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-10-second-rule/) - “If only I could stay calm…” “I just react… I can’t help it!” Every success story I have ever received from a parent includes, I was able to stay calm. Okay, easier said than done, I know. Human beings are reactive. When we feel threatened, we automatically retaliate. It takes self-awareness and consciousness to intervene
- [In the Wake of Newtown and Nelson Mandela: What can we learn?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/in-the-wake-of-newtown-and-nelson-mandela-what-can-we-learn/) - It is auspicious that our world has lost one of its most peaceful warriors at the marking of the one-year anniversary of one of its most violent acts. As we mourn the loss of one who brought peace and justice to the millions of oppressed in his country and set a standard for the world,
- [Tweens Online](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tweens-online/) - A guest post from Dr. Birute Regine, author of "Iron Butterflies: Women Transforming Themselves and the World" For weeks, Rene had been badgering her parents to let her have a gmail account. All her friends in middle school had email accounts, so why couldn’t she? Every time she asked she got the same answer. “Maybe
- [Self-Acceptance Must Come Before Change](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/self-acceptance-must-come-before-change/) - Sick of making New Year’s resolutions only to forget what they were a month down the road? Why is it that we start the year with all good intentions to get organized, lose weight, be a better parent, relax more, join that gym, etc. only to once again fail so we can beat ourselves up
- [The Rooster Under the Table](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-rooster-under-the-table/) - I recently saw an exhibit of Art Spiegelman’s many years of brilliant comic work at The Jewish Museum in NYC. One comic strip caught my attention as brilliant parenting advice. I share it here. The comic was Spiegelman’s fairy tale of a Prince who told his father, the King that he thought he was a
- [Our Living Legacies or Baggage We Can Drop](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/our-living-legacies-or-baggage-we-can-drop/) - We live our lives, choose our experiences and relationships, believe in ourselves, and raise our children according to how we were raised. Many do not connect the dots to form the connection. Many swear they are nothing like their parents and would never make the same choices. Yet even in our resistance or rejection, we
- [Building Resilience from the Ground Up](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/building-resilience-ground/) - Teaching children resilience begins at a young age. Over-protection undermines resilience and capability.
- [Who Can We Blame?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/who-can-we-blame/) - I don't believe very many parents choose not to do right by their children. They may not be doing what they want, but they don't know what else to do.
- [How to be a Less Distracted Parent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/stay-present-life-keeps-throwing-distractions-way/) - Everything about our lives today distract us from what is really important—connecting with our inner cores so we can better connect with children.
- [The Reasons I am a Connective Parent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/reasons-connective-parent/) - The reasons why I choose to be a connective parent.
- [Equal pay for mothers? No one could afford it.](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/equal-pay-mothers-one-afford/) - Imagine mothers being paid for this job. Now imagine being paid equally to a man in this position. Consider yourself a billionaire.
- [Have You Accepted the Child You've Got?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/accepted-child-youve-got-2/) - Acceptance is key in raising healthy children. Read blog for giveaway of Raise the Child You've Got—Not the One You Want, by Nancy Rose.
- [Building Defensive Behavior One Brick at a Time](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/building-defensive-behavior-one-brick-time/) - Blame provokes defensive behavior in children and prohibits the development of conscience.
- [“You just don’t understand!” ~ a teen’s lament](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/just-dont-understand-teens-lament/) - Understand teen behavior. Communicate, don't criticize
- [Parenting at the Beach](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/overheard-at-the-beach/) - While relaxing at the beach, I could not help but overhear snippets of interactions from a very nice looking family not too far from us. Here is teaching at it’s best—seeing and hearing from an objective perspective—this time it was what NOT to do. Here are a few disjointed pieces of overheard dialogue: Mom (to
- [Walking on Eggshells or Shell-shocked?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/walking-eggshells-shell-shocked/) - Ever feel that way? You try desperately to avoid the inevitable meltdown, the screaming “NO!”, the next “I don’t have to and you can’t make me” or the falling on the floor in a fit of tears—in the middle of the supermarket. I hear so often, “Everyday it’s the same thing. I can’t get my
- [The Gift of Letting Go](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/gift-of-letting-go/) - Letting go and stop enabling
- [Child Abuse, the NFL, and the History of Slavery](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/child-abuse-history-slavery/) - Understanding the history of child abuse dating back to slavery and the fear of worse treatment for children.
- [Do you know about cough medicine abuse?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/know-cough-medicine-abuse/) - Warning signs and what to do when you suspect cough medicine abuse.
- [Communication 101: How to get your child to listen](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/communication-101-get-child-listen/) - Learning when to use questions and when to make statements to encourage connection and communication.
- [Entitlement: The By-Product of Indulgent Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/entitlement-product-indulgent-parenting-2/) - Baby-boomers raising a generation of entitled children because they don't want to raise their kids the way they were raised.
- [Developing the Roots of Helpfulness in Your Children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/developing-roots-helpfulness-children/) - Teaching helpfulness includes modeling, giving choices and being considerate of your child's agenda.
- [The Keepers of the Secrets](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/keepers-secrets/) - Three icon children's beliefs—Santa, Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny—dethroned. Children cross over the line and become the keepers of the secrets.
- [5 Don’ts for Effective Careers (oh, and Parenting, too)](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/5-donts-effective-careers-oh-parenting/) - Explanations of 5 behaviors that can ruin effective careers and also make parenting life way harder than it needs to be with little if any good results.
- [Home for the Holidays: Stressful or Inviting?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/home-holidays-stressful-inviting/) - Parenting during holidays usually results in stress and paying more attention to what we guess others think of us than we do the needs of our children.
- [The Many Faces of Peer Pressure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/many-faces-peer-pressure/) - Aspects of peer pressure not usually thought about
- [Do You Have a Monster Living in Your House?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/do-you-have-a-monster-living-in-your-house/) - Emily Lemole’s children’s book, "How to Tame a Monster" is a winner. Violet’s little brother, Rupert, is a monster—everyone agrees. Except Violet.
- [The Simplicity of Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-simplicity-of-parenting/) - Parenting can be as simple as a child learning from her brother. Connective parenting is about influence, not force or insistence.
- [Fear—It's what anger is really about](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/fear-its-what-anger-is-all-about/) - Anger is provoked by fear. When we fear that we won't get something we want or our child will never learn, we are in fear and typically get angry.
- [Is your child being punished by rewards?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/is-your-child-being-punished-by-rewards/) - Schools want students to behave well. However attempts with behavior modification use rewards, which become punishments for those who don't get them.
- [How Kids Learn to be Bad](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-kids-learn-to-be-bad/) - When kids are viewed as bad, they learn they are bad, and so they behave badly. Most parents don't believe this. Here it is from the horses mouth.
- [Real Parenting for Real Kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/real-parenting-real-kids-2/) - How many of you began the journey of parenthood even before pregnancy either assuming all will be fine and you will have that sweet, cuddly Gerber baby and be a great parent or going at it with fervor and determination that you will never do to your kids what was done to you—so therefore your
- [The Skinny on "Consequences"](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-skinny-on-consequences/) - Understanding the fairness and logic of the natural consequences of behavior rather than using arbitrary consequences to threaten a child into obeying.
- [In Times of Tragedy...](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/in-time-of-tragedy/) - The nature of tragedy is out of our control. The nature of parenting is maintaining control. To influence best, we need to let go of that control.
- [A Connected Relationship with Your Kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connected-relationship/) - Thinking about making changes with your children? A story from this parent can inspire you to build a connected relationship—an important investment.
- [Distracted Driving Lessons](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/distracted-driving-lessons/) - Do you have a young driver in your family? Or a soon-to-be one? We all worry about our teens (or soon to be teens even if they’re now only two) as they are about to take the wheels of our cars and get on the road. Distractions are everywhere. Does your teen driver see them?
- [To Give In or Let Go: That is the Question](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/giving-letting-go/) - I was stuck in power struggles with my daughter because I didn’t want to give in. If I did, I feared she would have all the power.
- [Roosters Need Understanding Too](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/roosters-need-understanding/) - In order for children to change their behavior, they first need to feel connected and understood—the foundation for self-confidence.
- [Defiant Child or Full of Integrity?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/defiant-child-integrity/) - A defiant child, argumentative and stubborn, has a depth of knowing what is right for her that feels assaulted when she is told to do what you want.
- [The Story of a Family](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/family-story/) - In this family of two, the mom is bewildered that her son, as she sees it, deliberately breaks the rules in order to make her angry.
- [10 Ways to Keep Up with Your Teen](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/10-ways-keep-up-with-teen/) - Connection means that when faced with a dilemma or decision, your teen will first think what would my parents say? instead of what would my friends say?
- [The Dos and Don'ts of Power Struggles](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/power-struggles/) - When my daughter was five, I was exhausted and drained everyday. I couldn’t see a way out of our daily power struggles. She was pushing all my buttons.
- [New Year's Resolutions: 10 Exhausting Things to Give Up](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/new-years-resolutions-10-things-give-up/) - New Year’s resolutions: Remember less is more. Becoming a happier parent means NOT adding expectations of yourself that you can’t meet successfully.
- [When Your Child Feels Worry or Despair](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-child-feels-worry-despair/) - More and more I hear parents describe their children as anxious and angry, who see no reason to strive in school, who seem engulfed in worry or despair.
- [Helping Teens Cope with Stress](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/helping-teens-cope-with-stress/) - So many parents are concerned about how stressed out their teens are. Helping them cope with stress can be tricky when it seems like they don't want our help or interference. I asked Jennifer Salerno to write a blog for you based on her book, Teen Speak, an essential guide in communicating with your teen. Teenagers seem like
- [How to Get to Calm: Lessons from the Oregon Trail](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-calm/) - What would it take for you to stay calm when it comes to managing your kids’ behavior? Sometimes it feels like a herculean task.
- [Gaming: Hobby or Addiction?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/gaming-hobby-or-addiction-2/) - Do you worry your child who loves gaming more than anything else has an addiction? There is a big difference between a hobby gamer and an addicted gamer.
- [The Power of Waiting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/power-of-waiting/) - No matter the child or situation, waiting for emotions to cool and the situation to pass, can make all the difference in your ability to connect.
- [How to be a More Confident Parent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-be-confident-parent/) - When a child believes he is bad, he behaves badly; and parents react badly, confirming the child is bad. The cycle of reward and punishment spins
- [Discipline? Absolutely, as long as it's positive](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/discipline-positive/) - When I talk about shared power, connection, and problem solving, parents inevitably ask, "Are you saying that we shouldn't discipline our children?"
- [July '17 Q&A - Pacifiers / Shyness / Self-loathing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/pacifiers-shyness-self-loathing/) - Tantrums have more to do with his developmental stage. It’s important to learn he can get beyond a tantrum without a pacifier.
- [A Guide to Choosing the Best Child Care Center](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/guide-best-child-care/) - Selecting the right child care is perhaps one of the most important decisions you will make during the early years of your child’s life.
- [12 Ways to Boost School Motivation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/school-motivation/) - Parents place so much value on grades and performance that the message to the child is, I care more about how you do than what you do.
- [10 Ways to Get Respect from Your Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/10-ways-get-respect/) - In order to get respect from our children, we need to be respectful of them. Punishments, threats and criticizing teaches the opposite.
- [5 Things Never to Ask Your Child Right After School](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/5-things-never-ask-child-right-school/) - You want to interact and make connection when your kids get home from school. Your kids do too but not in the way you might think. You’ve missed them, you want to know what they did all day, how they got along, if they had any problems. But questions can feel like an interrogation. How
- [October '17 – Grieving, Transitions and News Anxiety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/monthly-qa-grieving-transitions-news-anxiety/) - How to Deal With Grieving Q. My 3.5 yo nephew’s adored grandmother has just died. She lived far away and he and his mother have just spent two weeks with her. They just got back only to discover that she died right after they left. My question is how his parents should handle this with
- [November '17 Q&A – New-found Independence, Conflicting Agendas and Making Friends](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/monthly-qa-new-found-independence-conflicting-agendas-making-friends/) - New-found Independence Q. My 3 ½ yr. old son has on ongoing heart condition that he was born with that is being controlled by daily medication (morning, afternoon & evening). He is very bright and articulate and has always been amazing at taking his drugs but over the last few weeks his independence (and determination)
- [If I Don’t Punish or Give Consequences, What DO I Do? How to Use Problem Solving](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/if-i-dont-punish-or-give-consequences-what-do-i-do/) - Even after I outline problem solving to a frustrated parent of a child who just keeps pushing the limits, I get the same reply. “Yeah, okay, but what do I DO?” It’s hard to understand at first that logical words, emotional understanding and empathy, and asking the child to think is actually DOING anything. We
- [Empowering Boys and Girls in a Culture of Sexual Harassment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/empowering-boys-girls-culture-sexual-harassment/) - The news has been shocking to say the least. But I believe the tide is turning. Powerful men are being called to the table and women are feeling strength in numbers. How did we get here? Or rather, if this is the beginning of the end of centuries of male conquest and domination, how do
- [December '17 Q&A - Anger Management,  Stealing and Mutual Respect](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/december-17-qa-anger-management-stealing-mutual-respect/) - Q. I have two sons almost 3 and 5. The 5 y.o. seems to take his anger out on his brother with some physical violence when he's upset. After an incident, I take the 5 y.o. upstairs to his room and we talk about our family rules (respect others, respect ourselves and respect things) and about
- [“Wait, aren’t I the parent here?” Using Your Parent Authority](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/using-your-parent-authority/) - The human child remains with a parent until the child is capable of making his own decisions about his health, safety, and well-being. The parent holds authority over this child until that time — usually through the teen years. That’s why a child needs a parent. For legal parental rights and responsibilities check out this
- [February '18 Q&A - Handling Big Emotions, When Anger Gets Physical and When to Negotiate and When Not](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/february-18-qa-handling-big-emotions-when-anger-gets-physical-and-when-to-negotiate-and-when-not/) - Handling Big Emotions Q. My 4-year-old son still has very intense fits/tantrums. He has an older brother who is 6 1/2. A lot of the time we try and ignore his fits, and usually he will go to his bed and get his loveys and cry. Sometimes his fits can be more than 15 minutes.
- [What Your Teen Wants to Hear From You](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/teen-wants-hear/) - Parents of teens tear their hair out wondering what happened to that child who cooperated at least some of the time, listened once in a while, and adjusted to the limits set some of the time. Now an attitude seems to replace that child and an alien has taken over. The thing is, your child
- [March '18 Q&A - Getting Choices to Work, Getting a Spouse On Board and Swearing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/march-18-qa-getting-choices-to-work-getting-a-spouse-on-board-and-swearing/) - Getting Choices to Work Q. What is the next step after saying, "You can either pick up that toy you threw and put it in the box or hand it to me. Which do you choose?" and the child refuses to choose or states they refuse to do either? I frequently find this with my 3 year old
- [Taming Your Gremlin ®*](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/taming-your-gremlin/) - We all say and do things we don’t mean. How many times have you screamed or slammed a door or hit a child and moments later regretted it. You knew better, right? So how come you didn’t do what you wished you had in the moment? Because your fears and assumptions got the better of
- [Getting Your Kids to Listen to You. Could There Be Anything Better?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/getting-your-kids-to-listen-to-you-could-there-be-anything-better/) - When your kids don’t listen, how long does your patience last? You think you’ve tried everything. You ask nicely, you keep asking nicely until you explode, you lecture about all you do for them, you give them consequences for not listening, you give them extra privileges if they do — but your kids still won’t
- [Music and ADHD: A Quick Guide for Parents](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/music-and-adhd-a-quick-guide-for-parents/) - We all love music. Now we know it can help attention span for kids with ADHD. Bono once famously said, “Music can change the world because it can change people.” This sentiment is true on a number of levels, including helping people with attention deficit disorders control the symptoms of their condition. According to Psychology
- [April ’18 Q&A – “Bad” Preschool Behavior, Racism and Screentime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/april-18-qa-bad-preschool-behavior-racism-and-screentime/) - “Bad” Preschool Behavior Q. Our 31/2 year old grandson just started preschool, and has already gotten an email (in 6 days) about how bad his behavior is. Not listening, not being nice with other kids, etc. I don't think he is old enough to verbalize what is bothering him, so how do we figure out
- [May ’18 Q&A – Confidence, Empathy and Shopping](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/may-18-qa-confidence-empathy-and-shopping/) - Is it lack of confidence or too much control? Q. Our 5-year old boy is struggling with confidence. He has difficulty focusing at school and we don't want him to get behind. There are 22 kids in his class and the school has an expectation of work. Also has trouble focusing at soccer practice/games, anytime
- [Hindsight on Gaming and Screentime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/hindsight-on-gaming-and-screentime/) - Gaming and computer usage is probably the hottest topic in parenting. I have said much about it and share some articles here, but there is nothing like the horse’s mouth. This mom of an 18 yr. old son and two teen daughters, commented on my Facebook Group so eloquently that I asked her if she
- [Jul. '18 Q&A - Sleep Training, Common Frustrations, and Finding the Best Direction](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/jul-18-qa-sleep-training-common-frustrations-and-finding-the-best-direction/) - Sleep Training Q. I’m wondering if you have any advice on “sleep training”. My baby is almost 8 months and breastfed to sleep for naps and bed time. We also co-sleep. But my husband is ready for him to move to his room and everyone is trying to give me advice about how to achieve
- [Aug. ’18 Q&A - Does your child fit with his school, Disrespect and Test Anxiety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/aug-18-qa-does-your-child-fit-with-his-school-disrespect-and-text-anxiety/) - Does your child fit with his school? Q. Our feisty 5 yo is not settling into school too well, and we have to attend meetings with the teacher due to his misbehaving ways. When asked why he acts out, ie: drawing on walls, running away from the class, ignoring instructions etc, he says, "because I
- [4 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed in School](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/4-ways-to-help-your-child-succeed-in-school/) - Of course, you want your children to succeed in school. You do all you can to manage getting their best. But what really is your job? Is it to insure good grades, getting involved in the right sports and extra-curriculars, and diligently doing their homework? If so how involved do you get? And what do
- [Sept. ’18 Q&A - Old Beliefs, English as a Second Language and Teen Swearing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/sept-18-qa-old-beliefs-english-as-a-second-language-and-teen-swearing/) - Old Beliefs Interfere with Appropriate Discipline Q. I could never argue my case to my parents and was told not to sass them and be quiet or I wouldn't get to do what I wanted or I’d have privileges taken away. I don't like how my parents handled this, but I still ended up believing that if
- [Oct. ’18 Q&A - Pull-ups for Poops, Healthy Anger and Early Adolescent Rejection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/oct-18-qa-pull-ups-for-poops-healthy-anger-and-early-adolescent-rejection/) - Pull-ups for Poops Q. My 4 yo daughter won’t poop on the potty/toilet. She uses a pull-up to poop (she is very independent in the process). She holds it if she isn’t at home. She is totally fine with peeing in the toilet and has been for about 2 years now. Two things I think
- [What the #MeToo Movement Can Teach Parents](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/what-the-metoo-movement-can-teach-parents/) - I doubt if there is a parent alive who is okay with a daughter being sexually compromised, unable to stop unwanted advances, or getting less pay than her male counterpart — or a son becoming a bully or sexual predator who objectifies women for his pleasure and who expects higher pay than his female counterpart.
- [On Being a Parent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/on-being-a-parent/) - Becoming a parent is easy. Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have. There are as many “shoulds” and “oughts” about parenting as books on bookstore shelves. What should you do? Who do you listen to? Some say trust your instincts. I agree. After all we are evolved to procreate and raise
- [Nov. ’18 Q&A - Refusing Warm Clothes, Night Diapers and Handling Peer Pressure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/nov-18-qa-refusing-warm-clothes-night-diapers-and-handling-peer-pressure/) - What to do when a child refuses warm clothes Q. I am stuck on an issue with my almost 4 yr. old son. He has been insisting on wearing shorts and t-shirts for the last few months no matter what the weather. When this came up, refusing coats/long sleeves/pants, I went with it, allowing him choice in
- [How NOT to Raise an Entitled Brat](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-not-to-raise-an-entitled-brat/) - Tis the season for generosity of spirit and deed — and for highlighting the lack of it in our children. I bet not one of you hopes your children will become more self-absorbed, stingy, ungrateful, and inconsiderate. You do everything in your power to prevent this. So how does it happen that so many children
- [Dec. ’18 Q&A - Big Emotions, Angry Outbursts and a Must Read](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/dec-18-qa-big-emotions-angry-outbursts-and-a-must-read/) - Handling Big Emotions and Understanding the Behavior Q. We had an episode with our 5 1/2 yr. old son. For the past 2 years, we have tried every approach. Our son is smart but immature. We feel he lacks confidence and tends to hold things in rather than talk. I tried to get to the
- [Engaging Kids in Housework](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/engaging-kids-in-housework/) - Kids don’t want to do chores. That’s a fact. Expect this. That doesn’t mean let them off the hook. It is essential for our kids to be contributing members of the family to develop an investment in and consideration for their family members. A family is a team. When you are on a team, every
- [Jan. ’19 Q&A - Fantasy Play, Honor Who Your Child is, and Understanding the Draw of Xbox](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/jan-19-qa-fantasy-play-honor-who-your-child-is-and-understanding-the-draw-of-xbox/) - Fantasy Play Q. My 4 year old loves pretend play. She often starts out the day by saying, " pretend I'm Peter Pan and you’re ....” It almost seems like a deep-seated need to play this way. I find that if I don't play with her like this then she is harder to deal with.
- [Mar. ’19 Q&A – Being Your Child's Friend and Parent, Angry Behavior and When the Coach is a Bully](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/mar-19-qa-being-your-childs-friend-and-parent-angry-behavior-and-when-the-coach-is-a-bully/) - Being Your Child's Friend and Parent Q. I do welcome your advice and think you speak a lot of sense, but I am not sure about your advice to be your child’s friend in one of your articles. What is wrong with being a mum? I am the only person who can officially be regarded
- [When Helicopter Parenting Crashes and Burns](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-helicopter-parenting-crashes-and-burns/) - In the wake of the recent college admissions scandal, my concern is with the students who are waking up to a whole new vision of themselves. Many of them from fifty known families—so far—apparently knew none of what their parents were up to—until now. Some received a sports scholarship in a sport never played using
- [The Power of Acceptance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-power-of-acceptance/) - All parents struggle with fears and worries about their children and many end up just getting in their own way. When you take your children’s behavior personally and use your authority to control them to do what you want, you may wind up creating the scenario you most fear. The problem comes when we think
- [Peer Relationships: Supporting your Child Through the Pain and Hurt of Friendships](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/peer-relationships-supporting-your-child-through-the-pain-and-hurt-of-friendships/) - Q. My 8 yr. old daughter, M, started playing with B last year and became her best friend. Towards the end of the year M became quite possessive of B. The situation escalated when B's mother decided to "ban" B from playing with M. When this school year began, the ban was still on. I
- [How to Step Out of a Power Struggle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-step-out-of-a-power-struggle/) - When we engage in power struggles with our children, it means we are invested in being right. When we must be right—"I'm the parent, I know best. You must do what I say"—the child is wrong and is left feeling powerless. The child then must fight back to preserve integrity; either that or the easy-going
- [When Kids Made the Rules: Sandlot Baseball Taught Kids More Than Sport](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/when-kids-made-the-rules-sandlot-baseball-taught-kids-more-than-sport/) - Remember sandlot baseball? Neighborhood kids got together anytime they could down at the empty lot, out in the street or at the playground to choose teams and play ball. No coaches, no parents, no supervision. The basic rules of the game provided a structure within which the kids decided their unique rules of playing together
- [Making Peace with Fears and Doubts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/making-peace-with-fears-and-doubts/) - How can we be so presumptuous as to think we know what is best for our children, what is the right thing for them to do, what are the right decisions for them to make? Plain and simple – we don’t know. We simply do not know, and to think we do, to believe we
- [July '19 Q&A - Work With Your Child on Issues that Bug You Most](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/july-19-qa-work-with-your-child-on-issues-that-bug-you-most/) - Q. I currently feel like a failure as a parent. My 12 year old daughter is smart, well behaved, does well in school. However, there are 2 main areas that we often fight about resulting in a tense hostile environment at home. One is sneaking junk food. We have a policy for the kids to
- [Sept '19 Q&A - What to Do About Lying](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/sept-19-qa-what-to-do-about-lying/) - Q. My 9 yo son recently stole some money, told me he didn’t, and that his friends must have. Then he planted the money in his sister’s room to frame her before telling me to, “search my room”. I’ve no idea what to say or do. I asked him repeatedly. I left a pot out
- [Less is More in the New Year](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/less-is-more-in-the-new-year/) - The key to becoming a better and happier parent is NOT to add on more to-dos. Especially expectations of yourself and your kids none of you can be successful meeting. You’ll all feel worse. You may want to do things better, but I promise that most likely means doing less—worrying less, fearing less, nagging and
- [How to Raise a Generous Gift Giver](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-raise-a-generous-gift-giver/) - “You can’t open the green package we’re bringing you until you put your tree up,” my grandson told us over FaceTime with the authority of the “knower of the gift”. It hasn’t been long that he’s been able to contain the secret of what’s in the package. It’s close to impossible for my grandkids to
- [Talking to Your Kids About Gun Violence](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/talking-to-your-kids-about-gun-violence/) - Every parent in the US has justified fear for their children’s safety—as well as their own. Even though mass shootings are sparse, when two happen in one weekend, it feels like an everyday occurrence. As we enter the new school year, we wonder—could it happen here? Walking into a big box store or fast food
- [Don’t Take It Personally](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/dont-take-it-personally/)
- [What to do When Your Button Gets Pushed](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/what-to-do-when-your-button-gets-pushed/) - We all know what it’s like to lose it with a child. When that button gets pushed, you see red, your authority and sanity flies out the window and you say and do things you swore you never would. It feels like there’s nothing you can do about it—but there is. Once you know that
- [Jan ’20 Q&A – When Correction Feels Like Criticism](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/jan-20-qa-when-correction-feels-like-criticism/) - Q. How can I help my 8 year old son understand that I love him just the way he is AND I want him to grow, learn and improve? He says he feels humiliated and ashamed every time I ask him to learn something new because he feels like I’m saying he needs to be better
- [How to Track Your Teen on Social Media (Ethically)](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-track-your-teen-on-social-media-ethically/) - We all worry about the amount of time our kids spend on social media, how much of their energy it consumes, and how it effects our their behavior and emotions. Typically, a parent’s go-to is to fear the worst. When fear gets in the way, we go into control mode. We are constantly chasing the
- [Homebound with Kids: Crisis or Opportunity?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/homebound-with-kids-crisis-or-opportunity/) - I am more scared about spending all day every day with my 4 kids and their different emotions and stages than I am about getting a virus. Mom on facebook. We are floundering in uncharted territory. Never could we imagine the scenario we are all living with this coronavirus. Now more than ever is the
- [Feb '20 Q&A - The Value of Allowance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/feb-20-qa-the-value-of-allowance/) - Q. What is the right approach to give pocket money to 7.5 year old? I’m confused between giving some amount on a weekly basis as pocket money and keeping a list of chores which can be done to earn money. I don't want her to think work needs to be done only when you get
- [What If I Mess Up?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/what-if-i-mess-up/)
- [Mar' 20 Q&A - Stuck At Home With Meltdowns](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/mar-20-qa-stuck-at-home-with-meltdowns/) - Q. Stuck at home with three kids is bad enough but one of them is going to drive me insane. My older and my younger are doing their work and managing okay, but my 8 yr. old refuses to do his school work, along with everything else, and has regular meltdowns. He’s always been tough
- [Apr. '20 Q&A - Trying to Homeschool and Police at the Same Time?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/apr-20-qa-trying-to-homeschool-and-police-at-the-same-time/) - Q. I’m trying to find the balance of working from home, homeschooling my 8 yo, and watching my 15 yo to make sure he gets his work done and doesn’t spend all his time on YouTube and video games. The hardest part is seeing the effects of this shut-down on my teen who has lost
- [Privilege, Fairness, and the Coronavirus:](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/privilege-fairness-and-the-coronavirus/) - A guide for conversations with kids about the virus, the protests, and race. There’s a lot of material online about how to talk to kids about the state of the world right now. But you also want them to think for themselves. Kids are so used to being told what to do, what to think,
- [The Lessons of Stress](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-lessons-of-stress/) - Ever notice that when things are going really well and you feel balanced, you are patient, flexible, empathic, and fun-loving with your children? And when you feel generally crummy, stressed, tired and hungry, your focus turns in on yourself and you get quite controlling? It’s natural when something triggers you and you feel out of
- [May '20 Q&A - Hitting a Wall?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/may-20-qa-hitting-a-wall/)
- [June ’20 Q&A – Taking the High Road](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/june-20-qa-taking-the-high-road/) - Q. Many years ago, I wrote an email asking for advice about an incident that had happened to my son. You wrote a response that was not only full of honesty and wisdom but that assuaged my feelings of incompetence as a parent. Today, that young boy is now a man and is doing fairly
- [Change Your Beliefs; Change Your Experience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/change-your-beliefs-change-your-experience/) - The beliefs we each hold can sustain us, move us forward, and hold us. They can also sabotage our desires and drive our lives in a direction we either don’t want to go or, more likely, are too afraid to change. But the good news is we can tackle those beliefs and change them—or at
- [Trying to Bottle Up a Tornado?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/trying-to-bottle-up-a-tornado/) - Q. My 6 yr. old son is worrying me to death. He seems to wake up in the morning with a wish to hurt as many things as he can – including me and sister. He has even screamed at his grandparents. If anyone so much as looks at him funny or tells him to
- [Turn Your Stress into Positive Modeling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/turn-your-stress-into-positive-modeling/) - Seriously, has parenting ever been more stressful than it has been the past 5 months? And it continues as many of you are stressed over continued remote learning, whether to send your kids back to school or not (if you even have a choice), worry that your children are falling behind, frustration over no uninterrupted
- [It’s a Strange New School World… Still](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/its-a-strange-new-school-world-still/) - Another school year has begun. But this one is unlike any other. All the emotions that come up for you and your children at this time of year are exaggerated and exacerbated by Covid. Nothing is normal, nothing is predictable. But school is school however it is conducted so I offer some thoughts. Whether your
- [The Blame Game](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/the-blame-game/) - Ever worry that your kids don’t take responsibility for themselves, always get defensive when criticized and blame somebody else? How many adults do you know like that? Blaming something or someone else when we are angry, criticized, or thwarted is as natural to humans as laughing or crying. But is it inherent in our nature
- [Is it really all about me?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/is-it-really-all-about-me/) - As much as I talk about the importance of taking care of yourself, of filling up your cup so you can fill your children’s, we put ourselves at the bottom of our to-do list—if we make it to the list at all. There’s always too much to do. I received this email from a woman
- [How to Deal with an Angry Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-to-deal-with-an-angry-child/) - Q. What is an appropriate response to a child who hits you or pushes you out of anger and he is 11? When the anger escalates, and you tell him it’s not ok and he still does it? It’s a slippery slope. This same child has also been extremely violent to his brother and knocked
- [How NOT to Raise an Entitled Brat](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/how-not-to-raise-an-entitled-brat-2/) - ‘Tis the season for gratitude and generosity—and for expecting it in our children especially at this time of year. The gimmies and the lengthy lists for Santa provoke fears of consumeristic, unappreciative, thoughtless kids. The daily dose of “I don’t want to…” after a simple request raises fear your kids will never show consideration or
- [Look for the Lie’s Intention Rather than its Crime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/look-for-the-lies-intention-rather-than-its-crime/) - Q. My almost 7 year old has started a habit of telling lies. We have talked about this several times. I have confronted him when he has told lies. He seems to understand. The hard part is that his Dad tells "white lies" and if he is confronted about things will find a way to put the
- [4 Ways to Keep Your Teens Safe: Go for Connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/4-ways-to-keep-your-teens-safe-go-for-connection/) - For any parent who fears the teen years—and who doesn’t—I can tell you how to make sure your teens will steer clear of all the horrible things you imagine. I know what you’re saying. Obviously, I can’t guarantee anything. But if you fulfill the 4 steps below, I would put my money on it. Studies
- [Shift Your Perspective on Screentime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/shift-your-perspective-on-screentime/) - Q. I don’t know what to do anymore about screens. My 9 and 12 year olds are not only on screens all day for school but then they crave playing their games and it’s all I can do not to just give up. I hate the way they behave when they get off and we

## Pages

- [Bonnie Harris | Connective Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/) - Coaching & Counseling for parents looking to form a healthy parent-child relationship. Bonnie Harris is a parenting and child behavior specialist.
- [Parent Coaching & Counseling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/parent-counseling/) - Bonnie listens to your unique situation and offers parenting tips and strategies to help you establish a mutually respectful and cooperative relationship
- [How Can Connective Parenting Help?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/coaching/) - How Can Connective Parenting Help? Connective Parenting reveals a counterintuitive approach to raising strong, confident and responsible adults
- [About Shannon](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/about-shannon/) - Shannon McNamara, Associate Director With over 20 years of experience as a clinical social worker, Shannon McNamara has dedicated her career to empowering families and strengthening the parent-child connection. She holds a master’s degree in clinical social work from Simmons University with a background in school, hospital, and community mental health settings. Shannon was introduced
- [How to Set Limits Effectively](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/how-to-set-limits/) - Make your job of parenting easier and less draining by shifting your mindset to understand how to set limits without rewards and punishments.
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- [Contact](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/contact-bonnie-harris-connective-parenting/) - Get direct access to Connective Parenting Bonnie Harris Peterborough, NH 03458 Email: bh@bonnieharris.com Signup for Bonnie’s eNewsletter and receive 8 great parenting tips free (in sidebar at right) To ask about private counseling or coaching, email bh@bonnieharris.com Join the Connective Parenting Facebook community Subscribe to Bonnie's Podcast Tell Me About Your Kids anywhere you get
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- [Lesson: The Only 3 Household Rules You Need to Remember](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-3-household-rules-need-remember/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, February 2014 Whenever you are setting rules with your children you can use this rule of thumb. Every rule you make should fall into one of these 3 general rules: Respect Yourself Respect Others Respect Property If your rules do not fall into one of these categories,
- [Audio & Book Draft](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/audio-book-draft/) - Get the books you wish your parents had and learn how to connect with your kids. Listen to My Newly Released Audio Book! When Your Kids Push Your Buttons And What You Can Do About It To raise great kids, you need to be able to understand YOURSELF, as well as your children. When Your
- [Introduction](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/introduction-kids-push-buttons/) - When Your Kids Push Your Buttons by Bonnie Harris Buy Audio "No! You do it," yelled not-yet three-year-old Jacob when his mother told him to clean up the milk she was sure he had deliberately spilled on the floor. Louise could feel her temperature rising. "You spilled it, you clean it up," she said with
- [When Your Kids Push Your Buttons](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/) - When the kids are driving you crazy you should read the book, 'When Kids Push Your Buttons' by international speaker and parenting specialist Bonnie Harris.
- [The "Buttons" Audio Parenting Course](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/audio-parenting-seminar/) - Learn more about The 'Buttons' audio seminar, an affordable two-part parenting workshop presented by Bonnie Harris, MS Ed. to improve parenting skills.
- [Draft Home](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/draft-home/) - Creating Parent-Child Relationships that Last a Lifetime Listen to my podcast, Tell Me About Your Kids, to learn how. Parenting is hard and you’re not alone. Listen to my podcast to hear real parents, like you, find ways to raise their kids with self-confidence and resilience. Would you like a 1-to-1 counseling session with me…for
- [Parent Workshops](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/speaking-teaching/parent-workshops/) - Bonnie Harris, MS Ed. offers parenting workshops and seminars at your location on a wide range of parenting and child behavior topics you choose. Learn more.
- [Speaking & Teaching on Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/speaking-teaching/) - Dynamic, entertaining and funny, parenting expert Bonnie Harris offers parenting skills training through speaking and teaching at your event, meeting or workshop.
- [Bonnie's Video Lessons on Connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/media/lessons-on-connection/) - [raw] Developing Good Eating Habits - about 4 minutes Bonnie gives tips on setting up good eating habits for children and making the family dinnertable a fun and enjoyable place to be. Managing Temper Tantrums - about 4 minutes Parenting expert, Bonnie Harris, helps you understand, support, and manage your children's tantrums so that your
- [Television Interviews & Programs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/media/television-interviews-programs/) - Television Interviews & Programs Bonnie’s “The Today Show” interview with Al Roker about her new book, When Your Kids Push Your Buttons "Northwest Afternoon" from Seattle interview "NH Outlook" on NH Public Television interview Video Seminars & Workshops » Bonnie’s Video Lessons » Television Interviews » Interviews & Podcasts »
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- [Critical Praise](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/critical-praise-confident-parents-remarkable-kids/) - Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids —Robert Brooks, Ph.D., Faculty Harvard Medical School Co-author of Raising Resilient Children and Raising a Self-Disciplined Child "Bonnie Harris has the uncanny gift of being able to put herself in both a parent's and a child's shoes. In Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids, she wears both, with empathy and wisdom. In a
- [Introduction](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/introduction-confident-parents-remarkable-kids/) - Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids by Bonnie Harris My children taught me two important lessons: Each child is completely different and requires different expectations, and neither punishment nor reward teaches anything worthwhile. By watching my children, discovering what helped and what didn't, I became fascinated with human behavior-why parents and children respond to each other the
- [Teacher Workshops](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/speaking-teaching/teacher-workshops/) - Ask Bonnie to present her teacher workshop for your teachers to learn how to deal more effectively with the students who push their buttons.
- [What is Connective Parenting?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting/) - Connective Parenting has only common sense at it's core. It doesn't change with the times or the parenting styles of the day. It is about relationship.
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- [Critical Praise](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/critical-praise-kids-push-buttons/) - "Why does a kid's particular behavior drive you batty? Harris suggests you think back to your own childhood triggering a memory that pushes your buttons."
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- [Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/) - 'Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids' is a must have book by parenting expert Bonnie Harris. It's full of parenting tips and tools. Available in paperback or CD.
- [Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids Download](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/confident-parents-remarkable-kids-download/) - Thank you for purchasing the audio edition of: Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With by Bonnie Harris Your transaction has been completed, and a receipt for your purchase has been emailed to you. You may log into your account at www.paypal.com/us to view details of this transaction.
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- [Interviews](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/media/interviews-and-podcasts/) - STOP! Here's What to Do When Your Kids Push Your Buttons | with Bonnie Harris " She gets into the everyday trenches of parenting with us and is skilled at showing us all that our children are our greatest teachers, hear to help us identify where we are still yet to grow." In this interview
- [Empathy vs Sympathy: Do you care more about your child's feelings or your own?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/empathy-vs-sympathy-do-you-care-more-about-your-childs-feelings-or-your-own/) - Imagine a huge hole in the ground with Man A stuck at the bottom unable to escape. Man B walks nearby and hears Man A calling for help. Man B sees Man A at the bottom of the hole. He is so upset that he jumps in the hole with Man A. Now both are
- [Self-care for Mothers is Currency for Your Children's Future](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/self-care-for-mothers-is-currency-for-your-childrens-future/) - (Scroll down for Q&A and a story) Mother's Day is upon us. Cards and flowers are always nice, especially when your children have something to do with it. Or maybe that's the day when your child doesn't yell, You're not my mother, and you're not the boss of me, but instead says, You're the best
- [Be More, Teach Less](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/be-more-teach-less/) - This summer I want to revisit my Be more, teach less philosophy. Summer is often a good time to be more laid back when school work is not looming. It’s time to simply BE with your children. Think of a favorite memory you have of a happy time with one of your parents. One
- [The Difference between Letting Go and Giving In](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/difference-letting-go-giving/) - What’s the difference between letting go and giving in? Letting go after engaging in power struggle after power struggle feels like giving in. Which is why I kept up the power struggles with my daughter for so long. I knew it wasn’t right to give in. I couldn’t let this little brat have her way.
- [Lesson: 'Tis the Season to be Jolly. Or Not.](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-tis-season-jolly/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, December 2013 Expectations are always high at this time of year. Often the season raises spirits, people are friendlier and wish each other cheer, and family gatherings are anticipated. But just as often this is not the case. Stress, tension, expectations of providing gifts and dealing with
- [Certified "Buttons" Educators](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/speaking-teaching/certified-buttons-educators/) - The complete list of professional certified "Buttons" educators who have completed the training in "When Your Kids Push Your Buttons".
- [When Kids Push Your Buttons Teleseminar Part 2 Download](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/kids-push-buttons-teleseminar-part-2-download/) - Thank you for purchasing the audio edition of: When Kids Push Your Buttons Course Part 2 by Bonnie Harris Your transaction has been completed, and a receipt for your purchase has been emailed to you. You may log into your account at www.paypal.com/us to view details of this transaction. The Course is recorded in four
- [Home](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/home/) - Home to Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed.and Connective Parenting, dedicated to providing education, coaching, and advice to parents on better parenting. Learn more.
- [Bonnie Harris Interview](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/interview-bonnie-harris/) - If you want to better understand behavior problems in children and how to most effectively manage them — and yourself — Confident Parents is the book for you! Full of helpful parenting tips and tools, Confident Parents gives you the reasons why these principles work. It presents the 8 most important aspects of Connective Parenting
- [Lesson: Addicted to Yelling?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-addicted-yelling/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, September 2014 Do you yell more often than you like? Does yelling fall short of getting the result you intend? Do you find yourself yelling when you don't realize you're doing it? Do your kids say you yell all the time? Is yelling easy for you? Is
- [Audio Book Downloads](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/) - When Your Kids Push Your ButtonsAnd What You Can Do About It Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With
- [Buttons Parent Workbook](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/parent-workbooks/) - Take Your Buttons Work Deeper
- [Great Parenting Teleseminar](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/books-etc/great-parenting-teleseminar/) - When Your Kids Push Your Buttons! A Teleseminar 2 Bonus Q&A Live Sessions 2 MP3 books 2 half-pice coupons for 2 sessions! See descriptions of the workshop below. Special Offer!! Click here to learn about aspecial savings opportunity to work with Bonnie personally. Please note: Paypal will transfer you to a download page when you
- [Real Parenting, for Real Kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/real-parenting-real-kids/) - How many of you began the journey of parenthood even before pregnancy either assuming all will be fine and you will have that sweet, cuddly Gerber baby and be a great parent or going at it with fervor and determination that you will never do to your kids what was done to you—so therefore your
- [Resources & Media](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/media/) - Ask Bonnie for an interview on your show. Here are a few Segment Ideas / Interview Topics Video Seminars& Workshops » Bonnie's Videos:Lessons on Connection » Television Interviews& Programs » Interviews &Podcasts »
- [Talks, Workshops, and Keynotes](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/speaking-teaching/talksworkshopskeynotes/) - Have Bonnie speak at your event ~ For an evening talk, conference workshop, staff development workshop, seminar or consultation — here are some of Bonnie's most popular topics. Others available upon request to suit your event and interest. Email bh@bonnieharris.com or call 603-924-6639 When Your Kids Push Your Buttons Raising Kids You'll Love to Live
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- [When Your Kids Push Your Buttons WorkBook Download](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/kids-push-buttons-workbook-download/) - Thank You Thank you for your purchase. We'll send a confirmation email shortly. This transaction will appear on your statement as PayPal *BH. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to call or write. Download The Workbook DOWNLOAD THE FOLDER CONTAINING THE E-DOCUMENT OF THE BUTTONS PARENT WORKBOOK HERE. The first document is the
- [When Kids Push Your Buttons Course Part 1 Download](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/kids-push-buttons-teleseminar-part-1-download/) - Thank you for purchasing the audio edition of: When Kids Push Your Buttons Course Part 1 by Bonnie Harris Your transaction has been completed, and a receipt for your purchase has been emailed to you. You may log into your account at www.paypal.com/us to view details of this transaction. The Course is recorded in four
- [When Kids Push Your Buttons Audio Course Download](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/kids-push-buttons-teleseminar-download/) - Thank you for purchasing the audio edition of: When Kids Push Your Buttons Audio Course by Bonnie Harris Download Part 1 Session 1 » (15MB) Download Part 1 Session 2 » (15MB) Download Part 1 Session 3 » (16MB) Download Part 1 Session 4 » (16MB) Download Part 2 Session 1 » (13MB) Download Part
- [Tips for Avoiding Screen Time Fights](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/screentime-fights/) - Fighting over screentime is symptomatic of underlying issues. It signals a problem or miscommunication in the relationship.
- [Understanding Your Stubborn Child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/understanding-stubborn-child/) - Many parents I work with describe at least one of their children with some of the following characteristics: Stubborn, defiant, won’t take no for an answer, doesn’t listen, ignores me, has to have it her way, bossy. They “have tried everything and nothing seems to work”. They are exhausted and drained from the trying. That’s
- [When Life Throws Punches How Resilient is Your Child?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/when-life-throws-punches-how-resilient-is-your-child/) - How well does your child handle adversity, cope in difficult situations, become even stronger after disappointments? In other words, how resilient is she? So often with all best intentions of being a good parent, we inadvertently make it harder for our children to manage life and cause a dependence on someone else to solve
- [Why is Change so Hard to Do?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/why-is-change-so-hard-to-do/) - (Scroll down for this month's Q&A and story) Ever promise yourself you're going to stop yelling at your kids? How about threatening and punishing? You know you don't want to do it, you know it doesn't work. You've tried to stop before. This year you're going to do it. Right? Wrong. Then you tumble down
- [Will Your Child Excel?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/child-excel/) - To raise a child ready to excel, let go of what was right for you and trust that what is right for your children is quite different.
- [Your Parent Authority is Important](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/parent-authority/) - Children need parental authority to know who is in charge. And to maintain order and provide children with the scaffolding they need to climb high.
- [7 Rules for Starting the School Year Off Right](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/start-school-year-right/) - A new beginning to the school year should not be marred by old expectations. 'Beginning' is a concept worth giving thought to.
- [8 Benefits of Self-ish Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/8-benefits-of-self-ish-parenting/) - Selfish is a dirty word. To most of us it means lacking consideration for others and looking out for one’s personal gain only. To be a selfish parent goes against every fiber of our being. Many know what it’s like to live with a narcissistic parent who never takes responsibility for herself and turns every
- [6 Reasons Your Child Misbehaves](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/6-reasons-child-misbehaves-2/) - Your child misbehaves for one of a variety of reasons. But there is always a reason. We call our kids on misbehavior, but rarely look to what provoked it.
- [5 Ways “DON'T” Sets Your Child Up to be Defiant?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/5-ways-dont-sets-child-defiant/) - You yell, “Don’t do that?” and he goes right ahead and does it anyway? You think he's defiant and react accordingly. Instead, tell him what TO do.
- [Newsletter Archives](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting (Q&As included on each page) June 2017: Lesson: Realistic Expectations De-Stress Parenting May 2017: Lesson: How to Set Limits Effectively April 2017: Lesson: Childhood Fears March 2017: Lesson: Challenges Give Kids a Feeling of Power February 2017: Lesson: How to Get Your Child to Apologize January 2017: Lesson: Will Your Child
- [The Connective Parenting Newsletter](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/) - Children are always after what they want.This does not mean we should give them what they want. But understanding realistic expectations will change
- [Realistic Expectations De-Stress Your Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/realistic-expectations-de-stress-parenting/) - Children are always after what they want.This does not mean we should give it to them. But understanding realistic expectations will change the relationship
- [Parenthood: As Taught by a Nine Year Old](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/parenthood-taught-nine-year-old/) - In reading through my journals from my kids’ childhoods, I came across this story. In my opinion, this is how parenthood should be understood. When my daughter Molly was nine, she and I were having a conversation about envy and jealousy. She always was a little philosopher with amazing insight. I asked her if she
- [Let's Give Mothers the Help They Really Need?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lets-give-mothers-help-really-need/) - While I believe parenting, whether done primarily by a mother or a father, is indeed the hardest and most important job anyone will ever undertake, I do not think that society as a whole gives parenting more than lip service. On Mother’s Day we give mothers that pat on the back, a card and maybe
- [Lesson: Your Brain on Memories](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-brain-memories/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, March 2014 Ever wonder why you still behave the way you do even though you know better? Or why you believe something even though you have learned otherwise? How I've put it in "Buttons" is that what you know in your conscious mind usually gets derailed by
- [Lesson: What do you really want for Mother's Day?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-really-want-mothers-day/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, May 2014 Enough with the hearts and flowers. What do mother's really want? My guess is to feel good about their parenting. As most of us mothers will attest, mothering is not easy, and there are days when we'd like to throw in the towel. Support is
- [Lesson: Translating “Talking Back” Behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-translating-talking-back-behavior/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, April 2014 Ever get sick and tired of your kids asking for one more thing? Ever feel taken for granted because your kids don't appreciate all you do and buy for them? Ever wish your teenager was more responsible with money? Ever wish your children had a
- [Lesson: Taking Responsibility as a Parent so Your Kid Can Too](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-taking-responsibility-parent-kid-can/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, July 2014 We have a problem in parenting today. Many parents do more for their kids than they should. Therefore kids are entitled, above the rules, inconsiderate of others, disrespectful, and rude. (Mind you, I am making a huge generalization.) The pattern looks like this: Child has
- [Lesson: How to Give Up Punishment and Blame—Part 3](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-give-punishment-blame-part-3/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, November 2013 To read Part 1—click here » To read Part 2—click here » Don't Take It Personally When we allow our children to express their feelings that means all feelings including disgust, hate, fury, jealousy. When we allow them to speak their minds, it means being
- [Lesson: How to Give Up Punishment and Blame—Part 2](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-give-punishment-blame-part-2/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, October 2013 To read Part 1—click here » Connecting and Validating All any of us really want is to be heard and understood. If you came home and told your partner about something hurtful someone said to you, you'd want your partner to acknowledge your hurt feelings—even
- [Lesson: How to Give Up Punishment and Blame—Part 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-give-punishment-blame-part-1/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, August 2013 The good news is that more and more parents everyday are learning the benefits of a connective approach to parenting. The bad news is that many are unable to make the transition from traditional reward and punishment parenting because time and again they get stuck
- [Lesson: Growing Generosity](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-growing-generosity-2/) - (Scroll down for this month's Q&A) ‘Tis the season for the gimmies—the time of year that is ripe for parents to catastrophize about their children’s self-centeredness. There is no magic age when children suddenly start thinking of giving to others, but parents can prime the pump long before true generosity emerges. Little children love giving.
- [Lesson: Growing Generosity](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-growing-generosity/) - ‘Tis the season for the gimmies—the time of year that is ripe for parents to catastrophize about their children’s self-centeredness. There is no magic age when children suddenly start thinking of giving to others, but parents can prime the pump long before true generosity emerges. Little children love giving. Babies want to mimic adult behavior
- [Lesson: Growing Cooperation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-growing-cooperation-5/) - I just spent the last four days caring for my three grandchildren—a three year old and fifteen month old walking, running and climbing twins—while their parents were away. I am filled with joy at spending that intimate time with them, exhaustion over the non-stop work it entails, and total awe at the job that my
- [Lesson: Did you teach your child to lie today?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-teach-child-lie-today/) - “Did you take that cookie?” (“No.”) “Where have you been?” (“Nowhere.”) “What happened?” (“Nothing.”) “What happened? Did you hit her?” (“I didn’t do it.”) Innocent questions like these, intended to get the information we think we need to parent responsibly, only set our children up to lie. When questions are accompanied by even the slightest
- [Lesson: Chores - Establishing Life Skills](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/chores-establishing-life-skills/) - Getting kids to do their chores is a chore in and of itself. So much so that many parents choose not to fight the battle, end up feeling resentful and unappreciated, and a failure for not teaching their children to be helpful. When my son was a young teen, I overheard him and his friend
- [Lesson: My Homework Challenge to You: Too Much, Too Young](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/homework-challenge/) - It's the beginning of a new school year. Are you heading into it with high expectations or worry about homework battles and school resistance?
- [Lesson: Acceptance is the first step to Problem Solving](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-acceptance-first-step-problem-solving/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, June 2014 Today's children seem more and more challenging to our expectations of how we should parent and how they should behave. Many will not take no for an answer and won't be told what to do. They want to solve their own problems their way. Can
- [Lesson: 10 Exhausting and Time Consuming Things to Give Up in the New Year](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/lesson-10-exhausting-time-consuming-things-give-new-year/) - Lessons for Everyday Parenting The Connective Parenting Newsletter, January 2014 If you're making New Year's resolutions this year, remember less is more. The key to becoming a better parent in the new year is NOT to add on any expectations of yourself that you can't be successful meeting. Who wants to feel worse about themselves?
- [Impulses Hijack Reason—but only in the moment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/impulses-hijack-reason-but-only-in-the-moment/) - Scroll down for Q&A and a Story Your child has suddenly lost it. He can no longer tolerate what has happened. His impulses take over. And you say: “Remember we talked about taking turns.” “I already told you that you can’t have another popsicle.” “Calm down. Don’t get so upset.” “You know better.” At the
- [How to Say No without Saying No](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/say-no-without-saying-no/) - Some kids hear something different when you say NO. Instead think they need to learn cooperation and consideration.
- [How to Get Your Child to Apologize](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/get-child-apologize/) - Notice I titled this article How to Get Your Child to Apologize, not How to Teach Your Child to Apologize. Your child already knows how.
- [He’s just manipulating me!](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/manipulating/) - When children tell untruths, cry without tears, laugh or say, “I don’t care” when you threaten, you may see this behavior as manipulating you.
- [Election Talk](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/election-talk/) - Are you concerned about what your children are hearing and seeing in the election talk? In light of the election results, I cannot ignore the pressing need to address what is already happening for our children. Regardless of preference in the presidential race, we have to confront what our children are hearing and learning from
- [Do you spell Truth with a capital T?](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/do-you-spell-truth-with-a-capital-t/) - Scroll down for Q&A I’ve come to believe that there is no Truth with a capital T. When you're living in a family, you either push, pull and dictate to get your capital T kind truth across or you let go and realize there are many truths, one for each member of the family. The
- [Press Kit](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/bonnie-harris/press-kit/) - Download Portrait Photos, Bio, Media Press Kit Download Media Press Kit for Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With Download Portrait photo (suitable for web use) Download Portrait photo (suitable for print use) Press Interview with Bonnie Harris Q. When Your Kids Push Your Buttons is not like
- [Entitlement: The By-Product of Indulgent Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/entitlement-product-indulgent-parenting/) - “These kids today” are the words out of every older generation referring to the next generation. It’s hard to accept change. Every generation thinks they got it right and now the youth are messing around with the status quo and getting it wrong. What do the following have in common? Kids with no manners or
- [Don't Sweat the Small Stuff](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/connective-parenting-newsletter/newsletter-archives/dont-sweat-the-small-stuff/) - You know how people say things like, “Cherish these times when you’re kids are young, they go so fast” and “There’ll come a time you’ll wish your kids wanted you all the time”? In the minutia of the moment, you want to spit in their eye. Those years of daily scrambling in the trenches
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## Products

- [Counseling Plan 3: Every Step of The Way](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/counseling-plan-three-every-step-of-the-way/) - Email or Contact Bonnie for payment options. Work with me and receive priority attention to develop solutions for your family’s needs. Cost: $2700 - $3300 Either a 60 minute or 90 minute session every week for 3 months (12 sessions) . This will allow for more in-depth counseling, familiarity with your situation, and priority focus from me. Three supplementary half-hour phone check-ins, as needed between sessions or an extra 90-minute session. Check-ins if needed between sessions Access to interim advice via email for my feedback between sessions on your questions or issues as they arise. I will reply quickly to help you navigate immediate situations or pressing questions. My audio seminar: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons - includes workbook Specific goals established at the beginning and evaluation and future steps at the end of our time Schedule ahead to make sure you get the dates and times you want.
- [Counseling Plan 2: Navigate a Phase](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/counseling-plan-two-navigate-a-phase/) - Email or Contact Bonnie for payment options. Counseling Plan Two: Navigate a Phase is designed for when you and your family are navigating a difficult period, regular coaching sessions can help you stay on track so you all reach smoother terrain sooner. Cost: $1350 - $1650 Either a 60 or 90-minute session every other week for 3 months (6 sessions). Check-ins, as needed between sessions. Access to interim advice via email for my feedback on any parenting situation, answering your questions and concerns anytime between sessions. I will reply quickly to help you navigate immediate situations or pressing questions. My audio seminar: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons - includes workbook. Specific goals established at the beginning and evaluation and future steps at the end of our time Schedule ahead to make sure you get the dates and times you want.
- [The "Buttons" Parent Workbook Download](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons-workbook/) - Take Your Buttons Work Deeper The Buttons workbook follows the parenting course When Your Kids Push Your Buttons. It is a guide to help you put the work of the Buttons book or workshop into your own personal life experiences. It is filled with exercises, questions, complete-the-sentence scenarios, descriptions, charts and diagrams, steps for actions
- [Counseling Plan 1: Right Now](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/counseling-plan-one/) - Each counseling plan is designed to provide you with the best strategies and techniques to help you build strength and understanding in your relationship with your child. Counseling can focus on but is not limited to: Improving family harmony Increasing positive behavior Understanding your child’s behavior and how to address it Co-parenting and step-parenting skills Adjusting to new family members Small group coaching
- [Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids Audio Book](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/confident-parents-remarkable-kids-audio/) - Imagine suddenly looking at behavior differently. When parents learn to replace rewards and punishment with problem solving, fairness, and logic, something amazing happens. Parenting gets easier and children become cooperative and respectful. In Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With (AdamsMedia, 2008), Bonnie Harris has distilled her groundbreaking work on understanding child behavior into eight key principles together with practical strategies parents can use to navigate through everyday challenges. What's different here is a fundamental shift in how Bonnie approaches parenting. She emphasizes the parent's role in self-discipline—staying calm and looking at the child's behavior as a signal to a deeper meaning rather than a conviction. Misbehavior is the child's only way to tell parents she is having a problem, not being a problem. Once parents learn how to decode this behavioral language, the rest is a joy. Chosen by Barbara Meltz, parenting columnist for The Boston Globe, as one of her very few listed favorite parenting books for 2014 — six years after its publication. For her recommendations click here ». Available on... Audible Spotify Google Play Books Kobo Libro.FM Chirp Nook Audiobooks Storytel Audiobooks.com Hoopla
- [When Your Kids Push Your Buttons Audio Book](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons-and-what-you-can-do-about-it-audio/) - A certain look, a defiant act, your child "pushes your buttons", and you say things you swore you never would. Blame, regret, shame—does this "spinning out of control" action/reaction cycle sound familiar? Effective parenting is achieved when we connect with our children, understand what their behavior is trying to tell us, and end the parenting "road rage" to give our children the help they may really be asking for. When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It (Warner books, 2003), voted one of the top 10 parenting books by the New York Post, will help you discover what your buttons are, where they come from, why your children push them and how to defuse them so you can regain your authority, your sanity, and your children's cooperation and respect. Available on... Spotify Apple Books Google Play Books Audible Kobo Scribd Chirp Nook Audiobooks Audiobooks.com Libro.FM Storytel
- [Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/confident-parents-remarkable-kids-2/) - 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With If you want to better understand behavior problems in children and how to most effectively manage them — and yourself — Confident Parents is the book for you! Full of helpful parenting tips and tools, Confident Parents gives you the reasons why these principles work. It presents the 8 most important aspects of Connective Parenting and then puts them into practice in 7 common daily dilemmas all parents face. Read the introduction to the book » Read Critical Praise »
- [When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (Autographed)](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons-2/) - Whether you’re a parent of an eighteen-month-old or an eighteen-year-old, you know what it’s like when kids push buttons and leave you screaming, “My kids are driving me crazy!” When Your Kids Push Your Buttons uncovers the hidden messages underneath your reactions and your child’s. Buttons offers you parenting tools and techniques to gain control of your emotions. You will see your children’s behavior differently so you can respond calmly and effectively. Most of all, you will defuse those buttons and give your kids the help they are asking for. Read the introduction to the book » Read Critical Praise »
- [The “Buttons” Audio Course: Part 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/the-buttons-audio-parenting-course-part-1/) - A Two Part Online Parenting Workshop to Take at Home Defiant behavior, then blame, threats, and yelling, then regret and shame—does this cycle exhaust you? Do you wish you could end this parenting “road rage” and get control of what feels out of your control? In the Buttons Workshop you will learn: What your buttons are, where they come from, and why your children push them How to understand your child’s behavior from a new perspective Why your buttons have more to do with your past than with your child Why your reactions are completely in your control and how to control them How we send messages to our children we least intend How to set your expectations for the child you have instead of the one you wish you had How to defuse your buttons to regain your authority, your sanity, and your children’s cooperation and respect. How to change your ineffective, even damaging, reactions to effective responses your children can hear. Based on Bonnie’s highly acclaimed book, When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It, the Audio Course puts the work in your lap.
- [The “Buttons” Audio Course: Part 2](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/the-buttons-audio-parenting-course-part-2/) - A Two Part Online Parenting Workshop to Take at Home Defiant behavior, then blame, threats, and yelling, then regret and shame—does this cycle exhaust you? Do you wish you could end this parenting “road rage” and get control of what feels out of your control? In the Buttons Workshop you will learn: What your buttons are, where they come from, and why your children push them How to understand your child’s behavior from a new perspective Why your buttons have more to do with your past than with your child Why your reactions are completely in your control and how to control them How we send messages to our children we least intend How to set your expectations for the child you have instead of the one you wish you had How to defuse your buttons to regain your authority, your sanity, and your children’s cooperation and respect. How to change your ineffective, even damaging, reactions to effective responses your children can hear. Based on Bonnie’s highly acclaimed book, When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It, the Audio Course puts the work in your lap.
- [The “Buttons” Audio Course: Parts 1 & 2](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/product/the-buttons-audio-parenting-course-parts-1-2/) - A Two Part Online Parenting Workshop to Take at Home Defiant behavior, then blame, threats, and yelling, then regret and shame—does this cycle exhaust you? Do you wish you could end this parenting “road rage” and get control of what feels out of your control? In the Buttons Workshop you will learn: What your buttons are, where they come from, and why your children push them How to understand your child’s behavior from a new perspective Why your buttons have more to do with your past than with your child Why your reactions are completely in your control and how to control them How we send messages to our children we least intend How to set your expectations for the child you have instead of the one you wish you had How to defuse your buttons to regain your authority, your sanity, and your children’s cooperation and respect. How to change your ineffective, even damaging, reactions to effective responses your children can hear. Based on Bonnie’s highly acclaimed book, When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It, the Audio Course puts the work in your lap.

## Testimonial Sliders

- [Homepage](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_slider/homepage/)
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## Testimonials

- [Podcast 8](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/podcast-8/)
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- [Podcast 6](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/podcast-6/)
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- [Books 14](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-14/)
- [Books 15](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-15/)
- [Books 16](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-16/)
- [Books 17](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-17/)
- [Confident 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/3224/)
- [Confident 2](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/confident-2/)
- [Confident 3](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/confident-3/)
- [Confident 4](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/confident-4/)
- [Confident 5](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/confident-5/)
- [Confident 6](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/confident-6/)
- [Confident 7](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/confident-7/)
- [Newsletter 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/newsletter-1/)
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- [Buttons Audio 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/buttons-audio-1/)
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- [Buttons Audio 3](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/buttons-audio-3/)
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- [Books 6](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-6/)
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- [Books 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-1/)
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- [Speaking 2](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/speaking-2/)
- [Speaking 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/speaking-1/)
- [Coaching 10](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/coaching-10/)
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- [Coaching 8](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/coaching-8/)
- [Coaching 7](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/coaching-7/)
- [Coaching 6](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/coaching-6/)
- [Coaching 5](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/coaching-5/)
- [Coaching 4](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/coaching-4/)
- [Coaching 3](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/test-3/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 1](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-1/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 2](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-2/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 3](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-3/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 4](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-4/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 5](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-5/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 6](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-6/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 7](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-7/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 8](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-8/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 9](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-9/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 10](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-10/)
- [Certified Buttons Educators 11](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/certified-buttons-educators-11/)
- [Books 12](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-12/)
- [Books 11](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-11/)
- [Books 10](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-10/)
- [Books 9](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-9/)
- [Books 8](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tss_data/books-8/)

## Categories

- [Everyday Parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/category/everyday-parenting/)
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- [Expectations](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/category/expectations/)
- [Grandparenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/category/grandparenting/)
- [Generational Trauma](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/category/generational-trauma/)

## Tags

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- [dictatorial](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dictatorial/)
- [Amy Chua](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/amy-chua/)
- [perseverance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/perseverance/)
- [accomplishment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/accomplishment/)
- [capability](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/capability/)
- [strength](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/strength/)
- [connection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/connection/)
- [obedience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/obedience/)
- [dependence](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dependence/)
- [authority figure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/authority-figure/)
- [influence](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/influence/)
- [rebel](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/rebel/)
- [control](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/control/)
- [Catholic priest](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/catholic-priest/)
- [sexual abuse](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sexual-abuse/)
- [misbehavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/misbehavior/)
- [behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/behavior/)
- [internal emotional state](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/internal-emotional-state/)
- [problems](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/problems/)
- [triggers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/triggers/)
- [out of control](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/out-of-control/)
- [violent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/violent/)
- [punishment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/punishment/)
- [power](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/power/)
- [choice](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/choice/)
- [authority](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/authority/)
- [resilience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/resilience/)
- [disappointment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/disappointment/)
- [sadness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sadness/)
- [building blocks](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/building-blocks/)
- [discipline](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/discipline/)
- [consequences](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/consequences/)
- [fairness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/fairness/)
- [logic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/logic/)
- [toys](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/toys/)
- [boredom](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/boredom/)
- [imagination](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/imagination/)
- [screen](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/screen/)
- [toy rotation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/toy-rotation/)
- [grief](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/grief/)
- [loss](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/loss/)
- [attachment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/attachment/)
- [suffering](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/suffering/)
- [joy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/joy/)
- [play](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/play/)
- [homework](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/homework/)
- [school pressure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-pressure/)
- [unstructured](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/unstructured/)
- [adult supervision](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/adult-supervision/)
- [whining](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/whining/)
- [compassion](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/compassion/)
- [acknowledgment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/acknowledgment/)
- [Mother's Day](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mothers-day/)
- [mothering](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mothering/)
- [dysfunctional behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dysfunctional-behavior/)
- [child development](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/child-development/)
- [education](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/education/)
- [Hiliary Rosen](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/hiliary-rosen/)
- [Ann Romney](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/ann-romney/)
- [technology](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/technology/)
- [government-sponsored](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/government-sponsored/)
- [tax credits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tax-credits/)
- [day care](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/day-care/)
- [breastfeeding](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/breastfeeding/)
- [Time Magazine](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/time-magazine/)
- [Tiger Mother](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tiger-mother/)
- [mothers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mothers/)
- [guilt](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/guilt/)
- [attachment parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/attachment-parenting/)
- [connective parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/connective-parenting/)
- [revolution](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/revolution/)
- [pendulum swing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pendulum-swing/)
- [Parent baggage](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parent-baggage/)
- [action](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/action/)
- [reaction cycle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reaction-cycle/)
- [disrespect](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/disrespect/)
- [Appreciation Button](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/appreciation-button/)
- [graduation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/graduation/)
- [economy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/economy/)
- [jobs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/jobs/)
- [responsibility](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/responsibility/)
- [academic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/academic/)
- [commencement](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/commencement/)
- [launch](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/launch/)
- [emotional support](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotional-support/)
- ["mother bear"](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mother-bear/)
- ["helicopter"](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/helicopter/)
- [overprotective](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/overprotective/)
- [Banksy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/banksy/)
- [bullying](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bullying/)
- [disciplinary actions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/disciplinary-actions/)
- [youtube](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/youtube/)
- [natural consequences](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/natural-consequences/)
- [bus monitor](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bus-monitor/)
- [ostrich parents](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/ostrich-parents/)
- [heads in sand](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/heads-in-sand/)
- [spanking](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/spanking/)
- [corporal punishment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/corporal-punishment/)
- [physical punishment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/physical-punishment/)
- [University of Manitoba](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/university-of-manitoba/)
- [black and white thinkers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/black-and-white-thinkers/)
- [screentime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/screentime/)
- [devices](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/devices/)
- [cyberspace](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cyberspace/)
- [predator](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/predator/)
- [brain damage](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/brain-damage/)
- [nature deprivation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/nature-deprivation/)
- [power struggles](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/power-struggles/)
- [school anxiety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-anxiety/)
- [success](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/success/)
- [Confident parents](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/confident-parents/)
- [remarkable kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/remarkable-kids/)
- [principles](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/principles/)
- [external motivators](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/external-motivators/)
- [intrinsic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/intrinsic/)
- [extrinsic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/extrinsic/)
- [advocate](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/advocate/)
- [Toxic parent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/toxic-parent/)
- [controlling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/controlling/)
- [confidence](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/confidence/)
- [Pause](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pause/)
- [uncontrollable](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/uncontrollable/)
- [breathe](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/breathe/)
- [walk away](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/walk-away/)
- [retalliate](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/retalliate/)
- [Challenge](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/challenge/)
- [motivation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/motivation/)
- [coping](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/coping/)
- [grades](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/grades/)
- [school bus](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-bus/)
- [gratitude](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/gratitude/)
- [complaining](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/complaining/)
- [mindfulness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mindfulness/)
- [Gift giving](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/gift-giving/)
- [generosity](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/generosity/)
- [allowance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/allowance/)
- [tragedy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tragedy/)
- [school killings](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-killings/)
- [Sandy Hook](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sandy-hook/)
- [fears](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/fears/)
- [questions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/questions/)
- [helpers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/helpers/)
- [Mr. Rogers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mr-rogers/)
- [mental illness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mental-illness/)
- [emotional illness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotional-illness/)
- [walking wounded](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/walking-wounded/)
- [traumatic situations](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/traumatic-situations/)
- [stigma of parent education](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/stigma-of-parent-education/)
- [mass killings](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mass-killings/)
- [empathy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/empathy/)
- [sympathy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sympathy/)
- [worry](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/worry/)
- [detach](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/detach/)
- [Trust](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/trust/)
- [guidance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/guidance/)
- [leadership](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/leadership/)
- [violin](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/violin/)
- [reading](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reading/)
- [boundaries](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/boundaries/)
- [decisions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/decisions/)
- [choices](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/choices/)
- [Kahlil Gibran](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/kahlil-gibran/)
- [power struggle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/power-struggle/)
- [defiance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/defiance/)
- [resistance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/resistance/)
- [threaten](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/threaten/)
- [jump to conclusions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/jump-to-conclusions/)
- [problem solving](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/problem-solving/)
- [cooperation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cooperation/)
- [mindset shift](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mindset-shift/)
- [force](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/force/)
- [rape](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/rape/)
- [entitlement](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/entitlement/)
- [Steubenville](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/steubenville/)
- [courage](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/courage/)
- [toxic masculinity](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/toxic-masculinity/)
- [sports](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sports/)
- [soccer](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/soccer/)
- [pack mentality](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pack-mentality/)
- [Boston marathon bombings](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/boston-marathon-bombings/)
- [self-confidence](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/self-confidence/)
- [walking on eggshells](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/walking-on-eggshells/)
- [fragile](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/fragile/)
- [meltdown](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/meltdown/)
- [intense emotions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/intense-emotions/)
- [drama](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/drama/)
- [fear](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/fear/)
- [let go](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/let-go/)
- [present](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/present/)
- [past](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/past/)
- [Culture of compassion](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/culture-of-compassion/)
- [traditional parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/traditional-parenting/)
- [gender](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/gender/)
- [transgender](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/transgender/)
- [middle space](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/middle-space/)
- [Quitter](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/quitter/)
- [signing up for programs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/signing-up-for-programs/)
- [opportunities](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/opportunities/)
- [passions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/passions/)
- [giving up](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/giving-up/)
- [pay attention](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pay-attention/)
- [Brazelton](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/brazelton/)
- [yelling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/yelling/)
- [push buttons](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/push-buttons/)
- [guide](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/guide/)
- [laid-back](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/laid-back/)
- [school-year](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-year/)
- [bedtime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bedtime/)
- [routine](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/routine/)
- [teachers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teachers/)
- [rules](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/rules/)
- [research](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/research/)
- [administrators](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/administrators/)
- [Finland](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/finland/)
- [educational system](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/educational-system/)
- [family](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/family/)
- [emotions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotions/)
- [understanding](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/understanding/)
- [immature stage of development](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/immature-stage-of-development/)
- [mistakes](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mistakes/)
- [give a break](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/give-a-break/)
- [Conflict Resolution](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/conflict-resolution/)
- [children's fights](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/childrens-fights/)
- [sibling rivalry](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sibling-rivalry/)
- [The Traingle Zone](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/the-traingle-zone/)
- [temper tantrum](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/temper-tantrum/)
- [impatience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/impatience/)
- [scary place](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/scary-place/)
- [screaming](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/screaming/)
- [kicking](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/kicking/)
- [hitting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/hitting/)
- [young child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/young-child/)
- [development](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/development/)
- [10 second rule](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/10-second-rule/)
- [retaliation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/retaliation/)
- [reaction](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reaction/)
- [stop](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/stop/)
- [wait](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/wait/)
- [think](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/think/)
- [grandparents](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/grandparents/)
- [holidays](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/holidays/)
- [pressure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pressure/)
- [visit](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/visit/)
- [relatives](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/relatives/)
- [in-laws](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/in-laws/)
- [criticism](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/criticism/)
- [Tweens](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tweens/)
- [online](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/online/)
- [social media](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/social-media/)
- [google+ group](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/google-group/)
- [internet safety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/internet-safety/)
- [cyber bullying](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cyber-bullying/)
- [New Years resolutions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/new-years-resolutions/)
- [goals](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/goals/)
- [intentions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/intentions/)
- [unconscious](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/unconscious/)
- [aspirations self-criticism](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/aspirations-self-criticism/)
- [critical](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/critical/)
- [Legacies](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/legacies/)
- [baggage](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/baggage/)
- [childhood](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/childhood/)
- [brain](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/brain/)
- [victim](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/victim/)
- [martyr](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/martyr/)
- [subconscious](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/subconscious/)
- [movie](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/movie/)
- [LOOK AT US NOW MOTHER](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/look-at-us-now-mother/)
- [mother-daughter dynamic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mother-daughter-dynamic/)
- [MY NOSE](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/my-nose/)
- [Eating](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/eating/)
- [picky eater](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/picky-eater/)
- [resistant](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/resistant/)
- [food baby food](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/food-baby-food/)
- [dinnertime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dinnertime/)
- [manners](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/manners/)
- [solid foods](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/solid-foods/)
- [nutrition](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/nutrition/)
- [dessert](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dessert/)
- [Parent blame](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parent-blame/)
- [accountable](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/accountable/)
- [pain](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pain/)
- [perspective](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/perspective/)
- [connective parent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/connective-parent/)
- [reasons why](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reasons-why/)
- [time out](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/time-out/)
- [grounding](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/grounding/)
- [problem solve](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/problem-solve/)
- [resilient](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/resilient/)
- [over-protection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/over-protection/)
- [risky play](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/risky-play/)
- [protector](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/protector/)
- [anxious](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/anxious/)
- [communication](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/communication/)
- [statements](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/statements/)
- [tone](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tone/)
- [body language](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/body-language/)
- [solutions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/solutions/)
- [Raise the Child You've Got](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/raise-the-child-youve-got/)
- [rejection](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/rejection/)
- [shift perspective](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/shift-perspective/)
- [Defensive behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/defensive-behavior/)
- [defense mechanisms](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/defense-mechanisms/)
- [intrinsic motivation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/intrinsic-motivation/)
- [forced apology](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/forced-apology/)
- [conscience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/conscience/)
- [Teens](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teens/)
- [pre-frontal cortex](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pre-frontal-cortex/)
- [experimentation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/experimentation/)
- [teen angst](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teen-angst/)
- [Dialogue](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dialogue/)
- [rude behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/rude-behavior/)
- [disobedience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/disobedience/)
- [empty threats](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/empty-threats/)
- [intentional parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/intentional-parenting/)
- [enabling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/enabling/)
- [teen](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teen/)
- [college](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/college/)
- [earn money](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/earn-money/)
- [child abuse](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/child-abuse/)
- [NFL](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/nfl/)
- [Adrain Peterson](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/adrain-peterson/)
- [slavery](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/slavery/)
- [black community](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/black-community/)
- [parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parenting/)
- [Drugs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/drugs/)
- [prescription](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/prescription/)
- [over-the-counter](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/over-the-counter/)
- [cough medicine](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cough-medicine/)
- [skittles](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/skittles/)
- [skittling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/skittling/)
- [tussin](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tussin/)
- [robo-tripping](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/robo-tripping/)
- [robo](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/robo/)
- [CCC](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/ccc/)
- [triple Cs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/triple-cs/)
- [dexing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dexing/)
- [DXM](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dxm/)
- [warning signs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/warning-signs/)
- [lie](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/lie/)
- [block communication](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/block-communication/)
- [validation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/validation/)
- [indulgent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/indulgent/)
- [privileges](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/privileges/)
- [baby-boomers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/baby-boomers/)
- [Helpfulness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/helpfulness/)
- [helping out](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/helping-out/)
- [chores](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/chores/)
- [modeling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/modeling/)
- [taking responsibility](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/taking-responsibility/)
- [self-sufficient](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/self-sufficient/)
- [Santa Claus](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/santa-claus/)
- [tooth fairy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tooth-fairy/)
- [Easter bunny](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/easter-bunny/)
- [children's beliefs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/childrens-beliefs/)
- [secrets](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/secrets/)
- [monsters](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/monsters/)
- [imaginary friends](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/imaginary-friends/)
- [Holiday stress](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/holiday-stress/)
- [family disapproval](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/family-disapproval/)
- [over-committing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/over-committing/)
- [children's brain development](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/childrens-brain-development/)
- [parenting strategies](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parenting-strategies/)
- [role modeling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/role-modeling/)
- [walk on eggshells](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/walk-on-eggshells/)
- [strong-willed](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/strong-willed/)
- [tolerance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tolerance/)
- [feeling attacked](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/feeling-attacked/)
- [peer pressure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/peer-pressure/)
- [comparisons](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/comparisons/)
- [adult peer pressure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/adult-peer-pressure/)
- [Parents as friends](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parents-as-friends/)
- [respect](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/respect/)
- [consideration](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/consideration/)
- [bully](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bully/)
- [treat children differently](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/treat-children-differently/)
- [set limits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/set-limits/)
- [friendship](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/friendship/)
- [triangle game](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/triangle-game/)
- [monster child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/monster-child/)
- [children's book](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/childrens-book/)
- [monster](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/monster/)
- [defiant child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/defiant-child/)
- [impulses](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/impulses/)
- [staying calm](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/staying-calm/)
- [emotional triggers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotional-triggers/)
- [Rewards](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/rewards/)
- [punishments](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/punishments/)
- [behavior modification](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/behavior-modification/)
- [incentive](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/incentive/)
- [school performance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-performance/)
- [Bad kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bad-kids/)
- [bad behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bad-behavior/)
- [testament](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/testament/)
- [honesty](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/honesty/)
- [connected relationship](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/connected-relationship/)
- [inspiration](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/inspiration/)
- [alcohol](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/alcohol/)
- [prevention](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/prevention/)
- [family support](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/family-support/)
- [parent education](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parent-education/)
- [Give in](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/give-in/)
- [disengage](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/disengage/)
- [stand on principle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/stand-on-principle/)
- [inborn personality](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/inborn-personality/)
- [understand](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/understand/)
- [agendas](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/agendas/)
- [gap](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/gap/)
- [repair](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/repair/)
- [Defiant](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/defiant/)
- [bossy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bossy/)
- [rude](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/rude/)
- [integrity](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/integrity/)
- [resistent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/resistent/)
- [harmony](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/harmony/)
- [teach](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teach/)
- [independence](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/independence/)
- [limits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/limits/)
- [humor](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/humor/)
- [Dos](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dos/)
- [Don'ts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/donts/)
- [shift in perception](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/shift-in-perception/)
- [fight](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/fight/)
- [Mindful parenting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mindful-parenting/)
- [accept](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/accept/)
- [not knowing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/not-knowing/)
- [despair](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/despair/)
- [anxiety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/anxiety/)
- [angry](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/angry/)
- [engagement](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/engagement/)
- [assumptions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/assumptions/)
- [emotional ruts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotional-ruts/)
- [managing kids behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/managing-kids-behavior/)
- [stuck](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/stuck/)
- [addiction](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/addiction/)
- [facebook](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/facebook/)
- [gaming](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/gaming/)
- [internet](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/internet/)
- [risky behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/risky-behavior/)
- [activities](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/activities/)
- [commitment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/commitment/)
- [making decisions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/making-decisions/)
- [Waiting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/waiting/)
- [patience](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/patience/)
- [Asperbergers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/asperbergers/)
- [childcare](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/childcare/)
- [daycare](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/daycare/)
- [quality staff](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/quality-staff/)
- [performance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/performance/)
- [successful learners](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/successful-learners/)
- [learning](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/learning/)
- [environment](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/environment/)
- [tantrums](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tantrums/)
- [pacifier](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pacifier/)
- [shyness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/shyness/)
- [social anxiety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/social-anxiety/)
- [seven year old](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/seven-year-old/)
- [early childhood](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/early-childhood/)
- [friends](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/friends/)
- [pre-teen](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pre-teen/)
- [depression](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/depression/)
- [autism](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/autism/)
- [summer vacation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/summer-vacation/)
- [camp](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/camp/)
- [quitting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/quitting/)
- [positivity](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/positivity/)
- [respectful relationship](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/respectful-relationship/)
- [mobile](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mobile/)
- [building trust](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/building-trust/)
- [reactions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reactions/)
- [ruts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/ruts/)
- [stuck in a rut](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/stuck-in-a-rut/)
- [belief](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/belief/)
- [cycles](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cycles/)
- [emotional cycles](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotional-cycles/)
- [calmness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/calmness/)
- [stay calm](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/stay-calm/)
- [self care](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/self-care/)
- [positive thinking](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/positive-thinking/)
- [bad habits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bad-habits/)
- [breaking habits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/breaking-habits/)
- [adolescence](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/adolescence/)
- [dealing with stress](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dealing-with-stress/)
- [supporting your teen](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/supporting-your-teen/)
- [teen speak](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teen-speak/)
- [teenagers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teenagers/)
- [new year](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/new-year/)
- [new year resolutions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/new-year-resolutions/)
- [clean slate](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/clean-slate/)
- [things to let go](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/things-to-let-go/)
- [grieving](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/grieving/)
- [attitude](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/attitude/)
- [connecting bridges](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/connecting-bridges/)
- [news](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/news/)
- [beliefs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/beliefs/)
- [swearing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/swearing/)
- [gremlin](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/gremlin/)
- [music](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/music/)
- [ADHD](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/adhd/)
- [attention](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/attention/)
- [instruments](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/instruments/)
- [keyboard](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/keyboard/)
- [piano](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/piano/)
- [guitar](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/guitar/)
- [discrimination](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/discrimination/)
- [obsession](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/obsession/)
- [mutual agreement](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mutual-agreement/)
- [hobbies](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/hobbies/)
- [sleep](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sleep/)
- [sleep training](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sleep-training/)
- [reframing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reframing/)
- [perception](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/perception/)
- [concentration](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/concentration/)
- [listening](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/listening/)
- [tests](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tests/)
- [bribes](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bribes/)
- [interest](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/interest/)
- [language](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/language/)
- [culture](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/culture/)
- [heritage](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/heritage/)
- [cursing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cursing/)
- [powerful](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/powerful/)
- [metoo](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/metoo/)
- [assault](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/assault/)
- [decision](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/decision/)
- [toilet](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/toilet/)
- [transitions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/transitions/)
- [books](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/books/)
- [bookshelves](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bookshelves/)
- [instincts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/instincts/)
- [raise](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/raise/)
- [detours](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/detours/)
- [answers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/answers/)
- [opinion](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/opinion/)
- [society](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/society/)
- [cues](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cues/)
- [voices](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/voices/)
- [pace](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pace/)
- [snail](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/snail/)
- [focus](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/focus/)
- [messy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/messy/)
- [digging](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/digging/)
- [misunderstood](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/misunderstood/)
- [hear](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/hear/)
- [reactive](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reactive/)
- [diapers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/diapers/)
- [peeing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/peeing/)
- [habits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/habits/)
- [clothes](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/clothes/)
- [parent authority card](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parent-authority-card/)
- [dressing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dressing/)
- [big emotions](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/big-emotions/)
- [immature](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/immature/)
- [stubborn](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/stubborn/)
- [temper](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/temper/)
- [crying](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/crying/)
- [jump](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/jump/)
- [energy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/energy/)
- [forts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/forts/)
- [pillow forts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pillow-forts/)
- [talk back](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/talk-back/)
- [timer](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/timer/)
- [battle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/battle/)
- [contribute](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/contribute/)
- [essentials](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/essentials/)
- [team](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/team/)
- [teamwork](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teamwork/)
- [unrealistic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/unrealistic/)
- [toddlers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/toddlers/)
- [preschoolers](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/preschoolers/)
- [fold laundry](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/fold-laundry/)
- [laundry](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/laundry/)
- [wash](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/wash/)
- [windows](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/windows/)
- [sweep](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sweep/)
- [cleaning](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cleaning/)
- [household tasks](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/household-tasks/)
- [clean household](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/clean-household/)
- [mop](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mop/)
- [dinner table](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dinner-table/)
- [tickle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tickle/)
- [groceries](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/groceries/)
- [dishwasher](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dishwasher/)
- [dishes](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dishes/)
- [dogs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/dogs/)
- [pets](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pets/)
- [money](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/money/)
- [housework](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/housework/)
- [screen filters](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/screen-filters/)
- [Apps](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/apps/)
- [management apps](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/management-apps/)
- [CDC](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cdc/)
- [hugs](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/hugs/)
- [thunderstorms](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/thunderstorms/)
- [social](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/social/)
- [experiences](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/experiences/)
- [comfort](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/comfort/)
- [toxic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/toxic/)
- [sensitive](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sensitive/)
- [protect](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/protect/)
- [protective](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/protective/)
- [phones](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/phones/)
- [responsible](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/responsible/)
- [solution](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/solution/)
- [playtime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/playtime/)
- [food habits](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/food-habits/)
- [food demands](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/food-demands/)
- [protest](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/protest/)
- [mealtime](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mealtime/)
- [religion](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/religion/)
- [atheism](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/atheism/)
- [entitled](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/entitled/)
- [bribe](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/bribe/)
- [scandal](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/scandal/)
- [achievement](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/achievement/)
- [snowplow](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/snowplow/)
- [when your kids push your buttons](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)
- [death](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/death/)
- [depressed](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/depressed/)
- [trauma](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/trauma/)
- [powerless](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/powerless/)
- [relax](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/relax/)
- [agreements](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/agreements/)
- [peer relationships](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/peer-relationships/)
- [baseball](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/baseball/)
- [curfew](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/curfew/)
- [peace](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/peace/)
- [failing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/failing/)
- [perfect](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/perfect/)
- [wrong](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/wrong/)
- [junk food](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/junk-food/)
- [health food](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/health-food/)
- [sneak](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sneak/)
- [forbidding](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/forbidding/)
- [blaming](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/blaming/)
- [abuse](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/abuse/)
- [upset](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/upset/)
- [walks](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/walks/)
- [feelings](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/feelings/)
- [school shooting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-shooting/)
- [safety](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/safety/)
- [mass shooting](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mass-shooting/)
- [trigger](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/trigger/)
- [tragedies](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tragedies/)
- [lying](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/lying/)
- [coverup](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/coverup/)
- [cover](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/cover/)
- [devious](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/devious/)
- [trusted](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/trusted/)
- [judgemental](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/judgemental/)
- [reason](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reason/)
- [integrity child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/integrity-child/)
- [harmony child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/harmony-child/)
- [obstacle](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/obstacle/)
- [.hurt](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/hurt/)
- [wrongdoing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/wrongdoing/)
- [blamed](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/blamed/)
- [message](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/message/)
- [conversation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/conversation/)
- [trouble](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/trouble/)
- [truth](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/truth/)
- [liar](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/liar/)
- [posture](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/posture/)
- [yell](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/yell/)
- [personally](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/personally/)
- [respond](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/respond/)
- [problem](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/problem/)
- [accusation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/accusation/)
- [competency](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/competency/)
- [suicide](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/suicide/)
- [snacks](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/snacks/)
- [nagging](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/nagging/)
- [reacts](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/reacts/)
- [privacy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/privacy/)
- [instagram](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/instagram/)
- [discussion](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/discussion/)
- [media](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/media/)
- [loneliness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/loneliness/)
- [police](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/police/)
- [failure](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/failure/)
- [fail](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/fail/)
- [covid-19](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/covid-19/)
- [corona virus](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/corona-virus/)
- [scared](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/scared/)
- [homebound](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/homebound/)
- [coronavirus](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/coronavirus/)
- [frustrated](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/frustrated/)
- [crack](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/crack/)
- [Homeschooling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/homeschooling/)
- [scheduling](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/scheduling/)
- [socialize](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/socialize/)
- [Covid](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/covid/)
- [food](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/food/)
- [conflict](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/conflict/)
- [masks](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/masks/)
- [vaccines](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/vaccines/)
- [school policy](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-policy/)
- [school resistance](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-resistance/)
- [school struggles](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-struggles/)
- [resistant child](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/resistant-child/)
- [button pushing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/button-pushing/)
- [late to school](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/late-to-school/)
- [school lateness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-lateness/)
- [tween](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/tween/)
- [slow mover](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/slow-mover/)
- [lateness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/lateness/)
- [parenting style](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parenting-style/)
- [people pleasing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/people-pleasing/)
- [giving mindset](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/giving-mindset/)
- [holiday season](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/holiday-season/)
- [judgement](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/judgement/)
- [isolation](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/isolation/)
- [teen suicide](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teen-suicide/)
- [mental health](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/mental-health/)
- [pandemic](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/pandemic/)
- [child behavior](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/child-behavior/)
- [emotional wellness](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotional-wellness/)
- [emotional exhaustion](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/emotional-exhaustion/)
- [moms](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/moms/)
- [home design](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/home-design/)
- [playroom](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/playroom/)
- [design](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/design/)
- [importance of play](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/importance-of-play/)
- [unsupervised play](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/unsupervised-play/)
- [being present](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/being-present/)
- [role playing](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/role-playing/)
- [finances](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/finances/)
- [perfectionism](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/perfectionism/)
- [perfectionist](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/perfectionist/)
- [worrying](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/worrying/)
- [school. school years](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/school-school-years/)
- [sex](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sex/)
- [sexual education](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sexual-education/)
- [sexuality](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/sexuality/)
- [family travel](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/family-travel/)
- [traveling with children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/traveling-with-children/)
- [traveling with kids](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/traveling-with-kids/)
- [Safe Home Podcast](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/safe-home-podcast/)
- [parenting teens](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/parenting-teens/)
- [Angry Teenager](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/angry-teenager/)
- [self-control](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/self-control/)
- [teaching self-control](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/teaching-self-control/)
- [Grandparent](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/grandparent/)
- [successful children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/successful-children/)
- [miscommunication](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/miscommunication/)
- [young children](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/young-children/)
- [routines](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/routines/)
- [adolescents](https://www.connectiveparenting.com/tag/adolescents/)

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