Every year, the holiday season arrives with its bright lights, traditions, and a quiet but powerful cultural pressure to create something magical. We can’t help but feel it in the pile of to-dos, school and family events on the calendar, the “perfect” images online, and the belief that our children’s happiness depends on our performance. Personally, I can’t tell you how much I hate that stupid Elf!
We often talk about the expectations that live inside us. The “shoulds” from our own childhoods, the pressures we absorb from family, and the internalized stories we hold about what a “good parent” looks like. During the holidays, those expectations get louder. And when they collide with the realities of real life (kids who melt down, stressed partners, finances that feel stretched, and schedules that are simply too full) the disconnect can fuel frustration and shame.
But the truth is: connection, not perfection, is what children remember.
Where Holiday Expectations Come From
Holiday stress rarely starts with the present moment. It starts with history.
Many parents find themselves recreating (or trying to fix) Read more…
Big Feelings over Family Gatherings?
Parenting often feels like walking a tightrope between love and limits — nurturing your child’s emotions while guiding their behavior. Sometimes, all the empathy in the world doesn’t seem to help, leaving parents unsure how to stay connected while leading with confidence.
You’ve probably seen it—another TikTok about the five missed signs of ADHD or an Instagram reel celebrating autism as a superpower. Conversations about neurodivergence are more visible than ever, and has even become a hot-button talking point in political circles. Experts, influencers, and practitioners are offering everything from behavioral strategies to nutrition tips to help families “manage” differently-wired brains.
No matter how hard we try to parent without shame, there will be moments when we react in ways we regret. Maybe we snap at our child for making a mess, call them “selfish” when they refuse to share, or roll our eyes when they ask a question for the hundredth time (I have done all of these things at some point in my parenting, BTW). In those moments, shame sneaks into our words and tone, and we see the impact in our child’s face—hurt, withdrawal, or defensiveness. To be fair, parents are just as entitled to their true feelings and emotions as our children are – and sometimes children simply drive us crazy!
Shame is one of the most powerful emotions a child can experience, yet it often goes unnoticed in the way we parent. It hides behind tantrums, defiance, withdrawal, and even dishonesty. When children feel shame, they don’t just feel bad about what they’ve done—they feel bad about who they are. And that can change how they see themselves for years to come.
Anxiety seems to be on everyone’s minds right now, especially parents. With so much going on in the world, with our relationships and work, and with our children, it’s easy to become overwhelmed, short-tempered, and exhausted. All parents want their children to feel happy, safe and loved. But sometimes, our own worries can get in the way. Worry and anxiety can creep into our lives like water through cracks in the foundation of our homes, making us feel overwhelmed or stuck. The good news is that we can leverage some of these natural, albeit big, emotions to build stronger, healthier relationships with our children by understanding our worries and fears and learning how to manage them.
Q. My 13-year-old is constantly complaining about things at school. She complains about who is getting away with what, that the teacher is targeting and being mean to her, and that another long-time friend is talking behind her back. She had me ready to barge into school and take down the teachers, administration, and the mean group of girls. Then I checked in with a friend whose son is in the same class and she had a different perspective from a different point of view (her son’s) which made me reevaluate everything that my daughter was telling me. My question is how do you deal with your child’s drama without getting sucked in? 
Nothing is more important for your children than your own well-being. 
Boundaries refer to the separation of responsibilities between me and my child. Limits refer to what behaviors I am ok with and what I am not. To have appropriate limits, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries.