Big Feelings over Family Gatherings?
It’s the holidays! And family gatherings bring warmth, familiarity, and celebration, but they also stir up old stories, unspoken expectations, complicated dynamics, and emotional landmines. During the holidays, many of us find ourselves managing not only our children, but the weight of our own childhood patterns resurfacing amidst family dinners with our parents and siblings.
On this blog we often talk about how our reactions to our child’s behavior are never just about the current moment. They are connected to past experiences, unresolved emotions, and the messages we absorbed from our own family. Gatherings with relatives often bring those patterns back, often with high emotion.
Why Family Dynamics Are So Intensely Triggering
Family is wonderful, but it can be hard. I get it. Older siblings never see you as a full adult, younger siblings always feel a little immature, and parents and extended family are quick to judge your parenting style or life choices. Add food allergies and a little politics and it can become an explosive mix. Family is where we first learned what Read more…
Every one of us begins life in a community — our family. It’s the first place we learn who we are, how to express ourselves, and how to connect with others. Before we ever step into a classroom or make a friend, our families teach us what love, trust, and belonging feel like.
You know that moment: your child shouts “No!” or bursts into tears over something small, and suddenly you feel a rush of heat in your chest. Your voice gets sharper, your patience evaporates, and before you know it, you’re reacting in a way that surprises even you.
Just Listen…
You’ve probably seen it—another TikTok about the five missed signs of ADHD or an Instagram reel celebrating autism as a superpower. Conversations about neurodivergence are more visible than ever, and has even become a hot-button talking point in political circles. Experts, influencers, and practitioners are offering everything from behavioral strategies to nutrition tips to help families “manage” differently-wired brains.
Anxiety seems to be on everyone’s minds right now, especially parents. With so much going on in the world, with our relationships and work, and with our children, it’s easy to become overwhelmed, short-tempered, and exhausted. All parents want their children to feel happy, safe and loved. But sometimes, our own worries can get in the way. Worry and anxiety can creep into our lives like water through cracks in the foundation of our homes, making us feel overwhelmed or stuck. The good news is that we can leverage some of these natural, albeit big, emotions to build stronger, healthier relationships with our children by understanding our worries and fears and learning how to manage them.
Q. My 13-year-old is constantly complaining about things at school. She complains about who is getting away with what, that the teacher is targeting and being mean to her, and that another long-time friend is talking behind her back. She had me ready to barge into school and take down the teachers, administration, and the mean group of girls. Then I checked in with a friend whose son is in the same class and she had a different perspective from a different point of view (her son’s) which made me reevaluate everything that my daughter was telling me. My question is how do you deal with your child’s drama without getting sucked in? 
As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us reflect on the past and set resolutions for the months ahead. While goals like exercising more or saving money are common, the start of a new year is also the perfect time to focus on family relationships, especially the ones with your children.
Nothing is more important for your children than your own well-being.