How do I get my child to behave?

Key Summary: Connective Parenting is a parent education organization founded by Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed. Rooted in a holistic, philosophical approach, we bring over 30 years of direct coaching experience to parents and professionals. Our work is to help parents and professionals address the root causes of reactive behavior. At Connective Parenting, we begin with the adults. Not the children. Our approach is based on the relationship as the intervention. We seek to understand behavior rather than change it. When parents understand themselves, everything around them changes. We offer one-to-one parent coaching, group programs, professional training and certification, workshops, and self-guided resources, including books, workbooks, audio courses, and a podcast.

We work closely with parents, guardians, caregivers, educators, therapists, social workers, and family-serving organizations across the globe.

FAQ For Parents

How do I get my child to listen and do what I ask?

This is the question almost every parent arrives with. While completely understandable, at Connective Parenting, we gently reframe it. Our goal isn’t compliance, it’s connection. When children feel genuinely understood, respected, and seen, cooperation follows naturally. Our work helps parents understand what’s underneath their child’s resistance, and what’s causing their own reaction to it. Here the relationship is the intervention because in the relationship is where change happens, and the space between you is restored.

Is Connective Parenting just another parenting technique?

Techniques and trends come and go. Our Connective Parenting philosophy is rooted in over thirty years of real conversations with real families. We’ll never ask you to follow a script or step into a framework or rote system. The basic principles of connective parenting are never outdated and always current. Instead, we invite you to understand yourself and your child more deeply. From there, you’ll parent with more compassion and show up as the parent you want to be. Parents who work with us don’t just get better at parenting. They get better at being themselves.

How is Connective Parenting different from other parenting programs?

Most parenting programs start with the child’s behavior and work outward. Connective Parenting starts with the parent and works inward. Where other approaches ask, “How do I get my child to stop doing that?” we ask, “What’s this behavior telling us, and what in me is responding to it in the way I am?” This distinction is life-changing and what makes the results last. Other programs emphasize meeting the needs of the child. Connective Parenting claims no one’s needs are any more or any less important than anyone else’s. Acknowledging this balance is what sets us apart.

I've already tried therapy, parenting coaches, and every book on the shelf. How is this different?

Most likely, a lot of what you’ve tried so far has focused on managing your child’s behavior. That’s how a lot of the parenting literature and resources are presenting the information, unfortunately. Connective Parenting focuses on restoring the relationship between you. It’s in this relational shift that the behavior follows. Parents often come to us, having tried everything else, and share that this is the first approach that actually addresses what’s really happening.

Is this approach too permissive? Are you implying my child should just run the show?

We’re so glad you asked! This is one of the most common misconceptions about Connective Parenting, and we understand why. The answer is no. Connection isn’t permissiveness. As you’ll see, our work requires strength, clarity, and accountability, which starts with you, the parent. We believe in healthy limits and boundaries. We don’t believe in using fear, threats, or punishment to enforce them, but we do believe your needs are as important as your child’s. It’s this balance that determines appropriate limits. Limits set from a place of connection are far more effective and far more lasting.

What is included in the coaching packages?

Both package 1 and package 2 give you the same intentional support. Each is designed for you to spend consistent time focused on developing a new perspective of your child and learning day-to-day strategies to increase cooperation, mutual respect, and trust. Any adult in your family unit can join the sessions. Regular coaching sessions help you stay on track so you all reach smoother terrain sooner.

Package 1: Scheduled 90-minute sessions every other week for 3 months (6 sessions).

Package 2: Doubles the sessions and gives you weekly support over 3 months (12 sessions)

Included in both packages:

Bonnie’s 16 hour audio seminar: “When Your Kids Push Your Buttons” – includes the 40 page Buttons workbook.
Email Bonnie anytime for quick feedback on any parenting situation, answering your questions and concerns to help you navigate immediate situations or pressing questions.
1/2 hour zoom check-in if needed.

What kinds of challenges do you help parents with?

Our parent coaching addresses a wide range of family dynamics. We’ve worked with parents who struggle with children who won’t listen, are having sibling conflicts, refusing to go to school, battling bedtime or mealtime, and adjusting to transitions and family changes. We also work with parents of children with complex needs and learning differences. Even parents having conflict with a work colleague. If it’s happening in your family, we’ve likely seen it before. Please check out our full list of services for parents.

How do I know if Connective Parenting is right for me?

The best way to find out is to have a conversation! We offer a complimentary 30-minute call with our founder, Bonnie Harris. On the call, you can share what’s happening in your family, ask questions, and get a real sense of whether our approach resonates for you. Parents often tell us that they leave that call feeling seen and heard for the first time. There’s never an obligation or pressure to continue with us after the call.

How long does it take to see results?

Some parents notice a shift after a single coaching session. Others find that the deeper work unfolds over weeks or months. We’re transparent in letting you know that this isn’t a quick-fix program. What we offer, if you’re willing to do the work, is lasting change. The change that becomes part of how you parent, rather than a technique you have to remember how to apply. Parents who commit to the process consistently tell us it was the most worthwhile thing they’ve ever done for their family!

FAQ For Professionals

How is Connective Parenting different from other professional training programs?

Most professional training programs teach practitioners how to work with families from the outside in. They focus on behavior modification and compliance strategies. We train professionals in a philosophy that begins with understanding. We equip you to help families get to the root of what’s happening in the child and in the adults around them. The result is deeper, more lasting change for the families you serve.

Does your work address ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences)?

Yes, our methodology is practiced through a trauma-informed lens at Connective Parenting. We use an understanding of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) to help parents recognize how their early experiences may be shaping their reactions to their children today, so they can heal and respond with empathy and connection. ACEs are events that occur in childhood, such as abuse, neglect, or household instability, that change how we experience or relate to others, and have lasting effects on a child’s developing brain, behavior, and long-term health.

Who is the Train the Trainer certification designed for?

Our Train the Trainer program is designed for educators, therapists, community outreach and social workers, family resource center staff, early childhood professionals, and leaders of family-serving organizations who want to bring the Buttons program directly to their communities. If you work with parents or children in any capacity and want a framework that actually changes family dynamics, this certification is for you.

What do certified facilitators receive?

Certified facilitators receive 20-24 hours of comprehensive training, a facilitator manual and trainer workbook, slide decks, scripts, and handouts, licensing to teach the Buttons program in their community, and ongoing access to our community and support network. Both in-person and virtual formats are available.

Can Connective Parenting programs be brought to our organization even if we don't pursue certification?

Absolutely. We offer workshops, organizational trainings, and community outreach programs for organizations that want to bring this philosophy to their staff or the families they serve without pursuing full certification. These are practical, engaging, and designed for real-world application across a wide range of settings.