Doubt is something that drives us nuts as parents but can both serve us and undermine us. If you didn’t doubt what you were doing as a parent, you wouldn’t be a conscious parent. We all know parents who know what is right and what is wrong and nothing moves them from that mark. Many of us had a parent like that. It’s no fun. Doubt keeps you alive and wondering. Doubt keep you growing and learning as a parent. You would be a robot without it. That said, doubt can also cause immobilizing fear when it is so loud that we question everything we do. When you have been brought up to believe that everyone else is right and you are wrong, doubt looms largely over ever action and decision. It can leave you disarmed in relationship with your child, who has an easy target and can wear you down quickly with arguments and demands. But doubt can be your friend and if you see it this way, you may not get so stuck with it. What you want to go for is what feels right inside you, not what “everyone” is telling you is right. Practice listening to your gut feelings and try going with them. When something sounds or looks right because so many others say so, be willing to question your assumptions and your friends and relatives if it feels wrong. The best parenting comes from focusing on the quality of the relationship you have with your child. Relationship is different with every person you are in relationship with. It will be a strong relationship that your child learns the most from and is influenced by. So that relationship needs to be built on what feels right.
Doubt: It’s Pros and Cons