An Article on Gratitude by Shannon McNamara, Associate Director
In a world that can often feel overwhelming, filled with the demands and surprises of daily life, taking a step back to appreciate the small and often overlooked moments can bring a renewed sense of connection and joy. In the words of Fred Rogers, “The best gift you can give somebody is your honest self.” Mr. Rogers, known for his gentle and wise approach to the emotional lives of children, offers parents today a powerful reminder: gratitude begins with seeing, honoring, and connecting deeply with ourselves and our children.
Parenting offers us countless opportunities to practice gratitude. Each time we pause to truly see our children—to listen to their thoughts, questions, or even their frustrations—we build a bridge of connection. Moments when your child curls up next to you, shares a piece of their world, or laughs at something silly are windows into their hearts. By slowing down to appreciate these moments, we can practice gratitude not as an ideal but as a way of being. As the old saying goes, you never know if the last time you snuggle your child to sleep is going to be the last time.
Gratitude and empathy are the roots of connection in parenting, and things that come naturally to children, but they require nurturing to become a part of a child’s core strengths. Gratitude strengthens empathy by fostering a mindset of openness and acknowledgment. When children feel valued and appreciated, they’re more likely to extend that same empathy toward others. They learn to recognize the goodness around them, notice acts of kindness, and find joy in the smallest things. And as they grow, they’ll remember the times when we, as parents, stopped to appreciate not only their achievements but their efforts, struggles, and simply their presence.
Gratitude and Empathy are foundational principles of Connective Parenting. They are essential tools for building deep, authentic relationships between parents and children. Gratitude in parenting is more than a polite practice, it’s a powerful way of seeing and appreciating a child’s unique self beyond their behavior or achievements. Like recognizing how your child persists through a difficult puzzle, makes up with their sibling after a fight, or cries during that scene in The Lion King, we get little windows into their souls. When parents lead with empathy and gratitude, they’re better able to create an environment of trust, where children feel safe and valued for who they are. Empathy means listening without judgment and striving to understand your child’s feelings and perspectives. On the other hand, Gratitude for the extra ten minutes of quiet play while you finish making dinner, could be expressed as, “I really appreciated how you played by yourself while I was making dinner tonight. It helped me to feel more relaxed”.
“It’s the people we love the most who can make us feel the gladdest…and the maddest! Love and anger, but it’s good advice to recognize that you can hold both of these feelings at the same time.” -Fred Rogers
No parent is perfect. Parenting, like any relationship, is filled with highs and lows. Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending that things are always wonderful. Instead, it means being present, acknowledging the messy and imperfect moments, and finding something valuable within them. Building a home filled with gratitude is an intentional practice that can shape family culture in meaningful ways. In the spirit of simplicity, fostering gratitude can be as easy as starting with a simple nightly ritual. Before bed, take a few minutes to share one thing each family member is grateful for that day. It could be a funny moment, a warm interaction, or simply acknowledging something pretty. I am reminded of the often repeated Mr. Rogers quote of “finding the helpers” — the teachers, bus drivers, shopkeepers, and family members who make our lives easier. When we teach our children to recognize and appreciate the contributions of others we expand the practice of gratitude beyond our immediate family and help our children develop a broader perspective of kindness and support.
Gratitude has a lasting impact on a child’s learning and mental health, fostering resilience, optimism, and emotional well-being. This positive outlook builds motivation to learn and helps children cope better with setbacks and anxiety. By recognizing positive experiences, children develop a balanced perspective of the world and a greater appreciation for their families, friends, neighbors, and teachers – the helpers.
Modeling gratitude – saying please and thank you, recognizing when someone does something kind or helpful, and appreciating others – sets a positive example for our children and improves our mental health too. Gratitude is essential in every stage of life, from our earliest years through adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us making it as vital to a child’s development as it is to an adult’s sense of fulfillment and connection.
This holiday season we encourage you to embrace gratitude, appreciate both life’s small joys and major milestones, and create a life rooted in appreciation and mutual support. As we gather with friends and family in the coming weeks, start a conscious gratitude practice to take into the new year.
Here are some ways to embrace gratitude with your children this season and beyond:
- Express gratitude every day: Say “thank you” to people who help you. Send thank-you notes, texts, or emails.
- Keep a gratitude journal with your child: Write down three things you are thankful for to help you focus on the positives in your life. Add an extra spot for something you appreciate about yourself.
- Volunteer: Volunteering with your child helps put challenges in perspective and empowers them to do something positive. Research has shown that kids who volunteer are up to 20% less likely to struggle with anxiety and depression in their teen years.
- Cultivate empathy: Try to see the world from others’ perspectives. It doesn’t mean you have to agree; simply understand. Watch movies, read books, go to museums. Learning about others helps us understand each other more.
- Eat meals together: Share stories, laugh, and talk about your day. Spending time together lets your kids know that you enjoy their company and like to learn about their lives. This is especially true for little kids who relish the opportunity to be a part of things.
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