Big Feelings over Family Gatherings?
It’s the holidays! And family gatherings bring warmth, familiarity, and celebration, but they also stir up old stories, unspoken expectations, complicated dynamics, and emotional landmines. During the holidays, many of us find ourselves managing not only our children, but the weight of our own childhood patterns resurfacing amidst family dinners with our parents and siblings.
On this blog we often talk about how our reactions to our child’s behavior are never just about the current moment. They are connected to past experiences, unresolved emotions, and the messages we absorbed from our own family. Gatherings with relatives often bring those patterns back, often with high emotion.
Why Family Dynamics Are So Intensely Triggering
Family is wonderful, but it can be hard. I get it. Older siblings never see you as a full adult, younger siblings always feel a little immature, and parents and extended family are quick to judge your parenting style or life choices. Add food allergies and a little politics and it can become an explosive mix. Family is where we first learned what Read more…
If you’ve ever sat across from your middle schooler, bewildered by their mood swings, sharp comments, or sudden silence, you are not alone. Most parents, myself included, describe these years as some of the most challenging in raising children. And most kids, if you ask them, will tell you that middle school just 
You’ve probably seen it—another TikTok about the five missed signs of ADHD or an Instagram reel celebrating autism as a superpower. Conversations about neurodivergence are more visible than ever, and has even become a hot-button talking point in political circles. Experts, influencers, and practitioners are offering everything from behavioral strategies to nutrition tips to help families “manage” differently-wired brains.
Emotional intelligence is a powerful tool for building strong, healthy relationships. It helps us understand our own emotions, empathize with others, and navigate life’s challenges. One of the most important skills in developing emotional intelligence is emotional literacy. Emotional literacy is the ability to recognize, understand, express, and manage emotions in oneself and others. It is truly the foundation for connection. Emotional Literacy starts long before the classroom, at home, with parents modeling and teaching the language of feelings to each other every day. 
As soon as children are born, they begin to recognize and respond to others’ emotions. This is how they secure their survival and ensure that they are fed, cared for, and loved. In fact, the bulk of emotional understanding begins before kids even learn their ABCs. However, emotional literacy is a lifelong skill that evolves with experience and guidance.
As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us reflect on the past and set resolutions for the months ahead. While goals like exercising more or saving money are common, the start of a new year is also the perfect time to focus on family relationships, especially the ones with your children.
Q. As I navigate my way through the influence of technology my fears are around knowing that I have a certain amount of control right now while my kids are 5 and 7, but what about later? I’ve taken the “Wait Until 8th” pledge, committing to not giving my kids phones until at least 8th grade. And even then, I would lean toward “dumb” phones. But perhaps what scares me most is how being on social media will affect them when they reach that stage. It’s something I never had to experience myself. The bullying, anxiety, eating disorders, and everything else that stems from the weight of that world frightens me. And what I hear from others and read in 
A Connective Parent asked about how toddlers learn self-control. Every parent needs real-life solutions to tantrums.
The family is a nurturing ground, not a training ground. When I hear parents say, “My job is to prepare him to deal with the real world. People out there aren’t going to care how he feels about what he has to do,” I hear a justification for traditional, authoritarian parenting, and I want to counter it to expose the moving parts.