One of the hardest parts of parenting (especially for thoughtful, attuned parents) is resisting the urge to help.
Not the neglectful kind of stepping back, but the very human impulse to jump in, fix, remind, rescue, explain, or smooth the path when our children are struggling. When we see them frustrated, overwhelmed, disappointed, or headed toward a mistake, something tightens in our chest. Our minds race ahead to the outcome. And before we even realize what’s happening, we’re already intervening.
“Did you email your teacher?”
“Here, let me show you how to do it.”
“Just do it this way—it’ll be easier.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
We help because we care, because we’re afraid, because watching our kids struggle can feel unbearable.
But sometimes, our helping gets in the way of their development.
When Helping Is Really About Our Own Discomfort
In Connective Parenting, we talk a lot about buttons, those internal places that get pushed when our children are distressed. The urge to help is often one of those buttons.
When our kids are struggling, what stirs inside Read more…
Parenting often feels like walking a tightrope between love and limits — nurturing your child’s emotions while guiding their behavior. Sometimes, all the empathy in the world doesn’t seem to help, leaving parents unsure how to stay connected while leading with confidence.
A common parental refrain we hear often is “I want my kids to grow up to lead happy, successful lives.” However, without realizing it, our hopes, dreams, and good intentions can turn into anxiety-laden roadblocks and place expectations on our kids that reflect our own dreams, fears, and ideas about success. 
As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us reflect on the past and set resolutions for the months ahead. While goals like exercising more or saving money are common, the start of a new year is also the perfect time to focus on family relationships, especially the ones with your children.
It’s Okay to Let Kids Quit Things
Q. My son is 11 and an only child. His first reaction to everything is negative, a sigh, makes a face and moans. This is the reaction to every meal (even stuff he likes), an outing he likes or even just being asked to watch tv with us. When we try to do fun family stuff he moans. Nearly every time he enjoys the activity and tells us afterwards, when we ask, that he loved it. He just wants to be playing on his iPad or watching TV on his own in his room. He says these activities take time from his gaming. I get frustrated because I plan these family activities around what he likes to do and yet he moans about going. Then it causes a row because no matter what we do he never gets excited or happy.
This month, Bonnie has invited guest writer, Abi Long, to offer her traveling insights for families.
