Parenting often feels like walking a tightrope between love and limits — nurturing your child’s emotions while guiding their behavior. Sometimes, all the empathy in the world doesn’t seem to help, leaving parents unsure how to stay connected while leading with confidence.
The good news: empathy and authority are not opposites but partners for long-term resilience.
Balancing Empathy with Authority
First, let’s understand our terms:
- Empathy is understanding and sharing another’s feelings. In parenting, it’s tuning into your child’s experience without judgment. Connecting first makes guidance more effective.
- Authority is leadership rooted in mutual respect. Calm, confident limits help children feel safe.
- Discipline is guidance that teaches children the impact of their actions.
- Punishment is about control. It can create fear, mistrust, and resentment, often leading children to hide or lie to avoid trouble.
Too much empathy without authority can leave children loved but uncertain who’s in charge. Too much authority without empathy may lead to compliance out of fear, not trust. The balance is what helps our kids feel safe and guided.
Focusing on the discipline Read more…
A common parental refrain we hear often is “I want my kids to grow up to lead happy, successful lives.” However, without realizing it, our hopes, dreams, and good intentions can turn into anxiety-laden roadblocks and place expectations on our kids that reflect our own dreams, fears, and ideas about success. 
As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us reflect on the past and set resolutions for the months ahead. While goals like exercising more or saving money are common, the start of a new year is also the perfect time to focus on family relationships, especially the ones with your children.
It’s Okay to Let Kids Quit Things
Q. My son is 11 and an only child. His first reaction to everything is negative, a sigh, makes a face and moans. This is the reaction to every meal (even stuff he likes), an outing he likes or even just being asked to watch tv with us. When we try to do fun family stuff he moans. Nearly every time he enjoys the activity and tells us afterwards, when we ask, that he loved it. He just wants to be playing on his iPad or watching TV on his own in his room. He says these activities take time from his gaming. I get frustrated because I plan these family activities around what he likes to do and yet he moans about going. Then it causes a row because no matter what we do he never gets excited or happy.
This month, Bonnie has invited guest writer, Abi Long, to offer her traveling insights for families.
I hate the word chores, and I can guarantee your kids do too. Asking kids to do chores is like saying I want you to take on this drudgery, this burden. And then when the expectation is that they should do them willingly because of all you do for them—that’s a catastrophe waiting to happen.
Third, set your expectations of yourself appropriately. Expect that from a very young age, your children are going to do tasks to be helpful. Just don’t expect