Category Archives: Everyday living

Creating Rituals & Routines That Strengthen Connection

In the busy rhythm of daily life, it’s easy to overlook the small moments that create deep connections with our children. Between school drop-offs, work deadlines, and the never-ending to-do list, many parents find themselves moving from one task to another without pausing to truly engage with their child. Yet, it is in these ordinary moments that the foundation for connection is built. By incorporating simple rituals and routines into our daily lives, we create security, predictability, and joy—essential ingredients for strong parent-child relationships.

The Power of Rituals & Routines

Children thrive on predictability. When they know what to expect, they feel safe and secure. Routines provide structure to their day, helping them transition smoothly from one activity to the next. But beyond just being practical, routines infused with rituals become powerful touchpoints of connection.

A routine is something we do regularly—a morning checklist, a bedtime process, a mealtime structure. A ritual, however, adds meaning and emotion to that routine. It’s the small, repeated actions that say, I see you. I hear you. We are in this together.

For Read more…

How to Step Out Of Your Child’s Drama

Teenage DramaQ. My 13-year-old is constantly complaining about things at school. She complains about who is getting away with what, that the teacher is targeting and being mean to her, and that another long-time friend is talking behind her back. She had me ready to barge into school and take down the teachers, administration, and the mean group of girls. Then I checked in with a friend whose son is in the same class and she had a different perspective from a different point of view (her son’s) which made me reevaluate everything that my daughter was telling me. My question is how do you deal with your child’s drama without getting sucked in? 

A. Kids love drama! For kids, whipping up a little bit of drama is great practice for negotiating systems and navigating relationships. They use different kinds of language to practice their impact and to strategically figure out how to get what they want. When we are young, we all practice our dramatic skills of provocativeness to see how our responses might impact another. This can be great Read more…

New Year’s Resolutions for Building Better Connections with Your Children

Winter Walk As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us reflect on the past and set resolutions for the months ahead. While goals like exercising more or saving money are common, the start of a new year is also the perfect time to focus on family relationships, especially the ones with your children.

Parenting can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel caught up in the daily grind. But this year, let’s aim to build better connections with our kids, deepen curiosity about who they are, practice patience in the tough moments, and commit to self-care so we can parent from a place of balance and strength.

These resolutions aren’t about perfection; they’re about being intentional and creating opportunities for growth, connection, and love. Let’s explore how to make these goals part of your parenting journey.

1. Build Stronger Connections

At the heart of parenting is connection. When kids feel connected to their parents, they are more likely to feel secure, valued, and loved. Strengthening this bond doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s the small, everyday moments that matter most. Read more…

Healing You To Connect With Them: Childhood Wounds and Not Passing Them On

Childhood

By Shannon McNamara, Connective Parenting Associate Director

Parenting is one of the most rewarding, yet hardest, things you’ll ever do. Not only are you responsible for guiding your children through their journey, but many of us find ourselves facing unresolved themes from our childhoods. These past experiences influence how we interact with our children, often in ways we don’t even realize. 

Understanding Childhood Trauma

What do we mean by childhood trauma? Childhood trauma is any harmful or upsetting experience from childhood that leaves a lasting impact on your emotions and behavior. These can be big things like abuse and neglect, or less obvious events like losing a loved one, growing up in a stressful or unstable home, bullying, simply feeling unheard, etc.. Even when we work through the major events, leftover emotions or beliefs can pop up unexpectedly and disrupt our current life. 

When we become parents, these old wounds can reappear, making us overly sensitive to our child’s behavior or unsure how to react. This is especially true if our own needs were unmet as children. If we were Read more…

Embracing Gratitude With A Little Help From Mr. Rogers

Family GratitudeAn Article on Gratitude by Shannon McNamara, Associate Director

In a world that can often feel overwhelming, filled with the demands and surprises of daily life, taking a step back to appreciate the small and often overlooked moments can bring a renewed sense of connection and joy. In the words of Fred Rogers, “The best gift you can give somebody is your honest self.” Mr. Rogers, known for his gentle and wise approach to the emotional lives of children, offers parents today a powerful reminder: gratitude begins with seeing, honoring, and connecting deeply with ourselves and our children.

Parenting offers us countless opportunities to practice gratitude. Each time we pause to truly see our children—to listen to their thoughts, questions, or even their frustrations—we build a bridge of connection. Moments when your child curls up next to you, shares a piece of their world, or laughs at something silly are windows into their hearts. By slowing down to appreciate these moments, we can practice gratitude not as an ideal but as a way of being. As the old saying goes, Read more…

How to Repair Yourself After Losing Control

Mom in ChaosNothing is more important for your children than your own well-being. 

One mom said, “If I hear one more time, fill your own cup  first, I will scream. I don’t have time for yoga classes and coffee with friends.” I hear you. I would like to offer a different way to keep your cup full, your energy balanced, and your responses controlled.

It’s not all the time. It’s those moments when your child says or does that thing, gives that look or throws that punch, and you lose control. Everything you hear and read about tells you to stay calm, to stop and breathe to avoid that parenting road rage. Like it’s that easy. In the heat of the moment, it’s impossible. Instead, once again you feel like a failure.

What I’m suggesting isn’t easy. And it takes time, focus, and commitment. But you can do it piece by piece without getting out of your pajamas. You don’t have to do anything in the heat of the moment. It’s what you do after that keeps building and improving your relationship.  Read more…

The “Wait until 8th” Pledge

Mom and DaughterQ.  As I navigate my way through the influence of technology my fears are around knowing that I have a certain amount of control right now while my kids are 5 and 7, but what about later? I’ve taken the “Wait Until 8th” pledge, committing to not giving my kids phones until at least 8th grade. And even then, I would lean toward “dumb” phones. But perhaps what scares me most is how being on social media will affect them when they reach that stage. It’s something I never had to experience myself. The bullying, anxiety, eating disorders, and everything else that stems from the weight of that world frightens me. And what I hear from others and read in The Anxious Generation, is that kids find a way to be on those platforms, even when devices are limited at home. What can I do now to set them up for the healthiest possible choices since they’ll likely “find a way” once they reach teenagehood.

A. Good for you. I am hoping that by the time your children are Read more…

What Are the Secrets that Make Children Successful?

Confident KidAs far as I can tell, most parents want to raise successful children to reach launch-age fully capable of conducting their lives with responsibility and respect. When they leave the safety of their nests feeling self-confident, competent, resilient, and have the drive to contribute positively to the world, they are ready to greet whatever comes at them. We want our children to go out into the world capable of finding success yet able to weather the bumps and storms with a strong sense of self. But, what are the secrets that make children successful?

We do not want our kids to launch with the attitude that the world owes them, they are separate from the rules others must follow, and they shouldn’t have to work hard for what they want. We want them to create interdependent relationships with others and not use their individual power to push others out of their way.

Most of all we want our children to feel inspired and fulfilled in their lives, doing what they love, satisfied with most of their choices and in mutually Read more…

5 Step Guide to Setting Successful Family Values

Family ValuesYour goal for your children is to raise strong, self-confident, resilient, independent humans who contribute to society, right? This doesn’t just happen somewhere in the teen years. It starts from setting family values that begin with love, acceptance, support, and security from which they launch into their adult lives. This is their foundation. 

Your family values may need some intentional focus and repair to find the peace and cooperation you are looking for. Things don’t change by simply hoping they will. Raising a happy family takes intentional planning and work.

Look at the following elements of parenting to see where your focus needs to be now. Family values can change. Don’t take the whole job on at once. 

model familyA. The Foundation: You, the parent. 

  1. Your modeling is the most important teacher for your child. It’s not what you say but what you do, who you are that teaches children how to be. You must behave in the way you hope your children to behave.
  2. Your self-control ultimately determines your child’s self-control. If you are a yeller, take your child’s behavior
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Gratitude from Your Child’s Perspective

“My child is so ungrateful.” 

“Why can’t he ever appreciate anything?”

“She has no consideration for anyone but herself.”

Gratitude isn’t something to be taught but to be experienced. I’m coming to understand that gratitude is hard to come by without love. It’s hard to feel gratitude or consideration for others when one feels unloved or unlovable. As Mr. Rogers said, “All anyone wants is to feel loved and know they are capable of loving.”

Love must involve feeling unconditionally accepted for who you are. That is the work for all parents. Once you can accept your child for who he is—that means not sending the message you wish he were different, she was more like her sister, he can’t meet up to your expectations, there’s something wrong with her—you never need worry about whether this child will be grateful or considerate of others. It doesn’t mean accepting behavior. It does mean accepting that this child at this moment in time is behaving this way because she can’t help it—because she is having a problem. 

I learned this a long Read more…