School refusal is one of the most frustrating experiences a parent handles. One day your child is getting ready and heading out the door, and the next, they’re clinging to you, melting down, shutting down, or flat-out refusing to go. You find yourself cycling through frustration, fear, guilt, and even anger. I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve seen this behavior both clinically and in my own home. You think, “what’s happening? what have I missed?”. It can start slow or come out of the blue, but, regardless, it’s scary. 
It’s important to remember that school refusal isn’t a sign of bad parenting or a “defiant” child. It’s a sign of overwhelm. It’s communication, and when we ask, “What’s happening inside my child that makes school feel impossible right now?” instead of, “My child is being stubborn,” it shifts everything.
School Refusal Is Not About Motivation. It’s About Safety
We tend to think of school refusal as a motivation problem:
“They just don’t want to go.”
“They’re being dramatic.”
“They’re manipulative.”
But kids don’t refuse school because they don’t care. Read more…
If you’ve ever sat across from your middle schooler, bewildered by their mood swings, sharp comments, or sudden silence, you are not alone. Most parents, myself included, describe these years as some of the most challenging in raising children. And most kids, if you ask them, will tell you that middle school just 
Racism and bigotry are not just taught in explicit words or overt hate. They are absorbed through silence, tone, behavior, avoidance, and discomfort. They grow in the spaces where fear is left unexplored, where shame is used as a tool, and where curiosity is shut down. It starts early, long before a child has the language to name it.
Raising boys in today’s world can feel overwhelming. Parents want their sons to be strong, kind, and successful. But sometimes, without realizing it, we pass down messages that can hurt more than help. Fear, shame, blame, and aggression have been used for generations to shape boys into what society expects them to be. But there is a better way.
Q. My 13-year-old is constantly complaining about things at school. She complains about who is getting away with what, that the teacher is targeting and being mean to her, and that another long-time friend is talking behind her back. She had me ready to barge into school and take down the teachers, administration, and the mean group of girls. Then I checked in with a friend whose son is in the same class and she had a different perspective from a different point of view (her son’s) which made me reevaluate everything that my daughter was telling me. My question is how do you deal with your child’s drama without getting sucked in? 
Q. As I navigate my way through the influence of technology my fears are around knowing that I have a certain amount of control right now while my kids are 5 and 7, but what about later? I’ve taken the “Wait Until 8th” pledge, committing to not giving my kids phones until at least 8th grade. And even then, I would lean toward “dumb” phones. But perhaps what scares me most is how being on social media will affect them when they reach that stage. It’s something I never had to experience myself. The bullying, anxiety, eating disorders, and everything else that stems from the weight of that world frightens me. And what I hear from others and read in 
Boundaries refer to the separation of responsibilities between me and my child. Limits refer to what behaviors I am ok with and what I am not. To have appropriate limits, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries.
The family is a nurturing ground, not a training ground. When I hear parents say, “My job is to prepare him to deal with the real world. People out there aren’t going to care how he feels about what he has to do,” I hear a justification for traditional, authoritarian parenting, and I want to counter it to expose the moving parts.
Heightened aggression in children, characterized by intense anger outbursts, defiance, and physical attacks, impacts children’s social interactions, academic progress, and emotional growth. Crucially addressed in early childhood, this issue, if unchecked, can result in lifelong anti-social or 
Q. Ines, 8, is a very sweet playing, sporty, capable but gentle friend. On the playground one of her better friends at school is starting to bully her. Tonight she was crying as the girl was telling her to go into a dark shed in the playground. Ines said she didn’t want to as she was afraid of the dark. The friend teased her for being a cry baby and insisted etc. My question is what do I do? I encouraged her to say STOP! and that you don’t like the way she is treating you, but she says that is not kind and she doesn’t want to be like her friend. I said to her that she needs to say stop for her friend’s sake too. She ‘practiced’ saying it but sounded like a mouse… that’s not going to transmit a message of strength. She’s going to a party tomorrow and this friend will be there. Ines is afraid that this girl will insist that the room be dark. I know the parents well and could talk to them