You know that moment: your child shouts “No!” or bursts into tears over something small, and suddenly you feel a rush of heat in your chest. Your voice gets sharper, your patience evaporates, and before you know it, you’re reacting in a way that surprises even you.
That’s what it feels like when our emotions boil over. But why? Why does something cause me to react and not my partner? Why is one developmental stage harder to manage? Why can I have complete compassion for one child and judgment over another, in the same situation?
Parenting is full of love, but it also pokes at the tender spots we carry on from our own childhoods. Some stages of childhood are almost tailor-made to stir up old memories and feelings (ask any parent of a 14 year old).
The good news: these moments aren’t just explosions waiting to happen. They’re opportunities for understanding ourselves and for healing.
Why Kids Can Feel Like Emotional Landmines
Children naturally pass through stages that challenge us in different ways. They nudge our old sore spots, Read more…
If you’ve ever sat across from your middle schooler, bewildered by their mood swings, sharp comments, or sudden silence, you are not alone. Most parents, myself included, describe these years as some of the most challenging in raising children. And most kids, if you ask them, will tell you that middle school just 
Raising boys in today’s world can feel overwhelming. Parents want their sons to be strong, kind, and successful. But sometimes, without realizing it, we pass down messages that can hurt more than help. Fear, shame, blame, and aggression have been used for generations to shape boys into what society expects them to be. But there is a better way.
No matter how hard we try to parent without shame, there will be moments when we react in ways we regret. Maybe we snap at our child for making a mess, call them “selfish” when they refuse to share, or roll our eyes when they ask a question for the hundredth time (I have done all of these things at some point in my parenting, BTW). In those moments, shame sneaks into our words and tone, and we see the impact in our child’s face—hurt, withdrawal, or defensiveness. To be fair, parents are just as entitled to their true feelings and emotions as our children are – and sometimes children simply drive us crazy!
Emotional intelligence is a powerful tool for building strong, healthy relationships. It helps us understand our own emotions, empathize with others, and navigate life’s challenges. One of the most important skills in developing emotional intelligence is emotional literacy. Emotional literacy is the ability to recognize, understand, express, and manage emotions in oneself and others. It is truly the foundation for connection. Emotional Literacy starts long before the classroom, at home, with parents modeling and teaching the language of feelings to each other every day. 
As soon as children are born, they begin to recognize and respond to others’ emotions. This is how they secure their survival and ensure that they are fed, cared for, and loved. In fact, the bulk of emotional understanding begins before kids even learn their ABCs. However, emotional literacy is a lifelong skill that evolves with experience and guidance.
Boundaries refer to the separation of responsibilities between me and my child. Limits refer to what behaviors I am ok with and what I am not. To have appropriate limits, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries.
Heightened aggression in children, characterized by intense anger outbursts, defiance, and physical attacks, impacts children’s social interactions, academic progress, and emotional growth. Crucially addressed in early childhood, this issue, if unchecked, can result in lifelong anti-social or 
Story: My strong willed 8 year old was diagnosed with anxiety and displays this with anger. Last March I got diagnosed with cancer and needed surgery. His anxiety hit the moon. He’s been acting out by throwing a ball at kids, stepping on their feet, throwing sand, yelling, etc. I practiced your principles of empathy, and he was able to tell me about a kid teasing him for not climbing the rock wall. I would never have found this out had I not set aside his behavior and my problem, used compassion and empathy, and listened. Yesterday when I picked him up, he came running into my arms and cried and cried really, really hard. WOW! He hasn’t cried like that in years. He cried the whole way home and continued at home and let me just sit there with him. I used empathy when needed and let him say all these horrible things about a kid who’s been bullying him. Bingo, I got to the root of his behavior, went right past those weeds. I did my best to 
It’s really easy to get down on yourself for behaving regretfully toward your child. What’s hard is forgiving yourself because you’re human and making amends. 
Vulnerability does not equal weakness. Vulnerability