Racism and bigotry are not just taught in explicit words or overt hate. They are absorbed through silence, tone, behavior, avoidance, and discomfort. They grow in the spaces where fear is left unexplored, where shame is used as a tool, and where curiosity is shut down. It starts early, long before a child has the language to name it.
It is hard to read the paper or turn on the TV without seeing images of families being separated, conversations about who belongs here and who doesn’t, or whispers about who is in our children’s classes. At Connective Parenting, we believe the parenting choices we make—how we speak, what we model, and how we respond to big emotions—are at the very heart of shaping the strength, values, and resilience of our children. All of the parents we talk to have the same goal: to heal their own wounds, be more connected and empathetic parents, and support their children in being the best versions of themselves in a peaceful and connected world. It’s time to claim the family as the foundation of Read more…
Raising boys in today’s world can feel overwhelming. Parents want their sons to be strong, kind, and successful. But sometimes, without realizing it, we pass down messages that can hurt more than help. Fear, shame, blame, and aggression have been used for generations to shape boys into what society expects them to be. But there is a better way.
As far as I can tell, most parents want their children to reach launch-age fully capable of conducting their lives with responsibility and respect. When they leave the safety of their nests with self-confidence, feeling competent and resilient, with the drive to contribute positively to the world, they are ready to greet whatever comes at them. We want our children to go out into the world capable of finding success yet able to weather the bumps and storms with a strong sense of self.
Boundaries refer to the separation of responsibilities between me and my child. Limits refer to what behaviors I am ok with and what I am not. To have appropriate limits, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries.
As far as I can tell, most parents want to raise successful children to reach launch-age fully capable of conducting their lives with responsibility and respect. When they leave the safety of their nests feeling self-confident, competent, resilient, and have the drive to contribute positively to the world, they are ready to greet whatever comes at them. We want our children to go out into the world capable of finding success yet able to weather the bumps and storms with a strong sense of self. But, what are the secrets that make children successful?
Q. I have two daughters, 12 and 10. We have a wonderful, respectful, open relationship. The older is very much an introvert, like me and my husband. She works hard academically, achieves well, and has a mind that races along a million miles per hour. She is always up to something constructive, is very comfortable in her own company. 
It’s really easy to get down on yourself for behaving regretfully toward your child. What’s hard is forgiving yourself because you’re human and making amends. 
Vulnerability does not equal weakness. Vulnerability 
Q. My 8 year old son is constantly talking back to me and using vulgar language. I tell him that is not acceptable, and he keeps doing it. He argues and doesn’t listen to authority—my authority anyway. He’s fine at school. Teachers love him. When I was young, I would have been smacked if I said half of what he does. I’m at a loss. What do I do to stop this constant talking back and throwing crude words at me?
Q. I’ve been a long time subscriber and benefitted on how to handle parenting issues mostly when my kids were very young. Now my son has turned 18 and feels entitled to stay out as long as he wants. For me and my husband, we still think that house rules apply but I’m finding it very difficult to give logical reasons why my son should abide by some rules when my husband does the exact same thing. Is there any better way to handle this or what reasons will be valid in this situation?